Revision in progress, 2021...Her last state of residence was Vermont, named that by the French. To reach French-speaking Quebec from her county of Addison, one had only to cross one other Vermont county, that called Chittenden. Did looking in that direction, north, remind her that her mother, Shelby Belle Martin, had some French names? Did any one in her family pronounce Belle or Martin the French way?
First, her family's obituary, then a tentative history..
===============================================
OBITUARY
SHELBY PAYNE FRIML, MIDDLEBURY —
===============================================
"Shelby Payne Friml, 82, of Middlebury died March 29, 2000, in Brookside Nursing Home in Bradford. She was born Nov. 9, 1917, in Portland, Ore., the daughter of William Wallace Payne and Shelby (Martin) Payne.
Shelby was a former model and actress in Hollywood, entrepreneur and nurse. She modeled for the designer, Adrian; was a Goldwyn Girl in the ’40s. and had small parts in 'The Big Sleep' with Humphrey Bogart and 'Up in Arms' with Danny Kaye, among others.
She married composer William Friml in January 1945 in Santa Ana, Calif. Together they developed ideas and music for Las Vegas acts, TV specials, raised two children, and managed income properties. Divorced in 1968, she later owned a gift shop, became a nurse and did hospice care before retiring to Vermont in 1978, where she enjoyed family, theater, and poetry.
She is survived by son Bill Friml and his wife, Elinor, of New Haven; daughter Shelby and her husband, Gary Guggemos, of Fayston; son Kim Fowley of New Orleans; six grandchildren; and nine nieces and nephews.
A memorial will be held April 8, 2000, in the Church of the Crucified One, Route 100, in Moretown at 1:30 p.m. Shelby was a strong and colorful individual who will be deeply missed."
Source: "Burlington Free Press", March, 2000, archived with other obituaries found at VermontGenealogy.wordpress.com/?s=friml, material posted by "theDarwinException"
BIOGRAPHY. She was the second Shelby of three. The third would be her daughter. The first had been her mother. The first Shelby was widowed when this Shelby was a teen. Her own mother Margaret had had similar circumstances, children to raise after the spouse was gone.
Mother to songwriter and band manager Kim Fowley, of the rock-and-roll world, this Shelby had moments of fame herself. As noted in her obituary, she worked as a model and actress in Hollywood. under her maiden name, Shelby Payne.
Shelby Payne changed her family life drastically, several times, the first time, by marrying son Kim's singer-actor father, Mr. Fowley. Her second marriage was to Mr. Friml, a music arranger. Her Friml children would note that happier relationship eventually ended in divorce, too, but saw her as colorful. The third change was a fresh start Vermont, no longer married
HER PARENTS. Shelby's father, William Wallace Payne, was a lumber exporter born in Washington state, to marry Shelby's mother, who had been born in Portland, partly raised elsewhere. The first Shelby's siblings and her mother Margaret had each been born in a different state, so this Shelby later going to California, where an aunt had been born, was probably seen as normal, maybe as an adventure. Censuses and William's obituary (seen at his grave page here) form a picture, with more travels involved: The Paynes would live in the Pacific Northwest. However, the eldest was first born in the Phillipines, as a US Citizen; the second, in William's home state of Washington, but their middle child, this second Shelby, would see two more siblings follow her birth in Portland, Oregon. Their father, William Payne, would die from influenza when this second Shelby was in her teens.
Shelby's mother is harder to track, pre-marriage. One difficulty? Shelby Martin's family had moved a lot. None of the Martin children was born in the same state, much less, in the same town. Secondly, she was counted as a child of age 9 in her family's 1900 US Census, done in Minneapolis, but her middle initial of S. was the only hint that Shelby was part of her name. Grandmother Margaret clearly preferred the Gay Nineties nickname of Ella to Shelby, so told a different name (Ella S. Martin ) to the census-taker.
Both the first Shelby and her mother Margaret were deceased when the obituary for this Shelby was written. They could not be asked questions to clear things up.
The 9-year-old's father was not present, but when asked about the birthplace of the father of Ella S. and the two older siblings present, Mrs. Martin answered that Mr. Martin had been Canadian. In some old US censuses, a person had to specify Lower or Upper Canada . In 1900, they were asked instead to specify English Canada or French Canada. Margaret, in a position to know, rather than guess, said French. This was plausible, due to some Frenchness in the children's names, the older brother called Robert, the older sister, something more exotic, with the first Shelby's added name of Belle meaning something like "pretty" or "fine". (William Payne's obituary called his widow Shelby Belle Martin. Was Belle pronounced a French Canadian way, similar to Bay-la, but said fast? An English-speaker like Margaret might think it fun to drop the B, leaving Ella as a nickname? Note also that French-Canadian culture allowed two middle names, not just one. The shorter "Shelby Belle" might use two of her three allowed "forenames", the third hidden. )
GRANDMOTHER MARGARET. Margaret E., this Shelby's grandmother, told the census-taker of 1900 that she was born in Minnesota in June of 1861, so as the Civil War began. 1861 was repeated by whomever filled out her death certificate. She was born when Minnesota was still a young state. Did a tiny Margaret watch her father go off to fight in the Civil War, or were married men with small children excused?
Her birth place, her death record said, was the area that later became Edina. It was merely Richfield Twp. then. Wiki historians say more Irish would arrive over the next decade. "By the 1870s, 17 families, most of them immigrating as a result of the Great Famine of Ireland, had come to Minnesota and claimed land in the southwest section of what was then Richfield Township."
The grown Margaret E. Martin worked out of the home in 1900, at a time when the world was not friendly to working mothers. The Martins' census-taker in 1900 wrote some parts clearly, left other parts scribbled.
Clearly written was that that Margaret had had Irish-born parents. She worked as a "matron", the place hard to read, perhaps an H.R. or R.R. Dept. (A job with the railroads would be noted as R. R. and might have required moving periodically.)
Margaret's scribbled marital status in the 1900 Census may have been "Wd" for Widowed or "D" for divorced or something else. The Censuses did not have a clear category for "separated due to work or hospital care".
Life would have been hard, supporting three children. With her income assisted by a teenaged son's paycheck, they were classified as "R". By renting, not owning, they could move more easily. Margaret's native place was Minnesota, said her 1900 Census. This and the children's births in three different states told us Margaret had moved away, then returned with the children.
Did she miss her father's last years by being away? He died in 1888, not yet 60. However, her father Edward Carey had two other married daughters (Dodd and Murray) that were still living in the area for Margaret's 1900 Census. Margaret was the middle daughter of the three, so maybe the first Shelby had cousins there that she cared about.
Margaret and John Martin had moved across the western US several times. This uprooted son Robert at least three times, their elder daughter, at least twice; the first Shelby, being youngest, moved maybe just once, to leave her birthplace of Portland for Minneapolis. Maybe the Payne and Martin families had first come into contact back then?
Margaret's son Robert, the eldest, uncle to this Shelby, was born in Colorado in July of 1881. Their 1900 US Census in Minneapolis, with Margaret the sole parent present, gave Robert's age as 18, making him twice the age of his littlest sister, who was just 9. He worked as a telegraph operator. Margaret's middle child most likely had an exotic name that sounded lovely, but the interviewer maybe mis-guessed the spelling. "Tillare M." was written, with no mention of any Tillare Martin found elsewhere. Age 14 then, aunt to this Shelby, she was described as born in California, in Oct., 1885. Margaret could have had "Tillare" drop out of school to work, but, to the benefit of Tillare's future chances, Tillare was listed as still a student.
There are some disagreements as to facts.
For example, in 1900, Margaret believed the children's father had been born in French Canada, which included Quebec and Montreal. Later descendants would remember something different, giving English Canada as his birthplace. English-speaking Canada was a rather broad region. It ranged westward to Vancouver and Victoria, by the Pacific Ocean, an easy day's drive from Portland. It included Ottawa, instead northish of Minnesota. Its eastmost large city would be Toronto, closer to Detroit and Cleveland. (Children often asked grandparents "Where were did you grow up or come from?", hearing a different answer than if they had asked, "Where were you born?")
Main Source: 1900 US Census, Martin household, Minneapolis, handwritten record, archived at FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:S3HT-DBBQ-Y39
Twenty years later, Margaret would be living with the Dodds for her 1920 Census, still working as a "matron", at a "Ry Station". Was she maybe writing letters to the Paynes in Portland? Tht was common back then, as phone calls were expensive if done too often. Maybe she still sometimes said Ella, instead of the Shelby Belle that her youngest daughter preferred? Margaret would ask about this Shelby, as she would be at a cute stage, two going on three?
Margaret's younger sister, with whom she was staying, Mrs. Dodd (Catherine), would die just two years later, in 1922. Margaret died in 1926. Their elder sister, Mrs. Murray, lasted longest, until 1942. (Mr. Murray's stone gave her name as Mary B. Was that B for Bridget, their mother's name?)
Margaret's father Edward and his three daughters lie buried in the same Catholic cemetery, the large one in Minneapolis that is called Saint Anthony's. All have footstones inside the plot belonging to the Dodds. Margaret E. Martin's footstone was partly submerged, but someone scraped away the tossed grave dirt.
See also: 1920 US Census, Margaret in the Dodd household, handwritten record, kept online at FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33SQ-GR6L-56J
1926, Typed summary of Margaret's death record, mother's surname stated as "Lycette", but not researched to determine whether correct or mis-read:
FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:ZZ35-J1T2
1880 US Census, Margaret not present, her two sisters with Mr. Carey, age 52, calling himself married, not widowed, not clear if she is merely away for the day. He farms in rural Hennepin County. The sister to be buried as Catherine Dodd, is Katie Carey, age 14,. Their sister Mary, age 21, is listed, but withher married surname Murray mis-spelled as"Murrey", her spouse and their 2-month-old son Eddie also there:
FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33S7-9YB4-933P
MARGARET'S GRANDAUGHTER. As a teen leaving home after her father's death in Portland from influenza, was this Shelby, granddaughter of the independent Margaret Martin, trying to also be independent? Be less of a financial drain on her widowed mother? Did she feel scared or confident? Those are things obituaries cannot tell us.
HOLLYWOOD & SON KIM. Shelby's first husband, Mr. Fowley, was studiously avoided in her obituary above, by the rest of the family, for good reasons. His portrayal below is through son Kim's eyes, stated briefly here, as covered more thoroughly elsewhere.
Most people accept that parents, no matter how good overall, no matter how hard they try, make some mistakes. Her son Kim felt his very young mother's mistake was in dealing with her first spouse's treatment of him. Most children ultimately forgive their parent's mistakes, more importantly, learn to not to repeat those mistakes, but it can take decades to get there. Not to understand the consequences until later, nor how things were not entirely Shelby's fault, eldest son Kim expressed his sorrow over the damage done by being left where his biological father could access him, in foster care.
What led her to such a wrong man? Stories about Kim's father hinted of a lifestyle glamorized in the movies, with fine things and servants. She was still young, he was handsome and, being a character actor, could easily avoid presenting his "true self" on dates?
You can hear the normalcy of this Shelby's later years, working as a nurse, and of her other children's very different father, Mr. Friml, in her other children's obituary for her, above. The third Shelby, this Shelby's daughter, Margaret's great-granddaughter, left a touching flower note for her father at Mr. Friml's Findagrave page. She said, "My father who taught me so many things. He was a companion in the woods, a friend at the piano, a teacher outside."
In Kim's autobiography and press interviews, you do not hear normalcy. You instead think you hear howls, or their echoes. They regard the actor with stage name Mr. Fowley, over his biological father's tainted rearing of Kim, suppressed with anger, discussed in pain, then tucked away one more time, waiting inside until he could deal with them.
Some things are glimpsed in a U.S census done in 1940 in Beverly Hills. Shelby's household was headed by Douglas Fowley (his stage name, as his FindaGrave page says his birth name was Daniel Vincent, his birthplace the Bronx). The Fowley house had two live-in servants, plus a baby born in Nebraska eight months earlier.
Perhaps this Shelby had gone to Nebraska for Kim's 1939 birth, to be near non-Hollywood people, for normalcy? Was her older sister living in Nebraska there? Or, maybe the census-taker mis-heard the place?
Kim's Findagrave page, as of 2020, instead gives Los Angeles as Kim's birthplace. That's more exciting for "tour of the stars" presentations, not as boring as Nebraska? Her brother Robert was married and still alive, but not for long.
This Shelby ultimately left Hollywood. She worked as a nurse, among other things, retiring in Addison County, Vermont. Was it perhaps an old hearthplace for some ancestors, as French Canada's Quebec is almost next-door, to the north?
Children who lose cherished parents too early may feel abandoned, not the parents' fault, nor their own. A very young version of herself, her future feeling insecure, had put Kim, for example, in foster care for a time, also not secure. She may have been shocked to learn Kim's singer-actor father, fresh from WW II, would grab him from foster care and take him to Malibu, where the father lived with ex-military buddies.
Shelby's first husband, Douglas Vincent Fowley, would, post-divorce, become Doc Holliday on the 1950s TV western called "Wyatt Earp". Noble on camera, he led a decadent life off-screen, according to Kim's autobiography.
That Hollywood life must have been disastrous for her, as she would divorce Mr. Fowley and then leave her son in foster care. Did she hope that foster parents could better protect him from his father, than she could herself? That didn't happen. Stories told in Fowley's book and interviews describe his father snatching his six-year-old son out of foster care, taking him to places where he would be taught that debauchery was expected, even of six-year olds.
We can imagine that she did what we might do, faced with such losses, unable to fix them. Try to lead a new life? Raise her children in a different kind of house, with a different kind of father, a life more similar to the one in which she had been raised? (Recall that her own father, president of a lumber-exporting business, died, back when she was about 15.)
It appears she did not repeat her mistakes with him, but Kim would repeat some of them. He would eventually apologize to some the members of the "girl band" called The Runaways, some as young as 15, for mistreating them after put under his supervision in the mid-to-late 1970s for record production and rock-and-roll touring.
COPYRIGHT by JBrown, Julia Brown, Austin, TX, March, 2016., last revised Jan., 2021.
First, her family's obituary, then a tentative history..
===============================================
OBITUARY
SHELBY PAYNE FRIML, MIDDLEBURY —
===============================================
"Shelby Payne Friml, 82, of Middlebury died March 29, 2000, in Brookside Nursing Home in Bradford. She was born Nov. 9, 1917, in Portland, Ore., the daughter of William Wallace Payne and Shelby (Martin) Payne.
Shelby was a former model and actress in Hollywood, entrepreneur and nurse. She modeled for the designer, Adrian; was a Goldwyn Girl in the ’40s. and had small parts in 'The Big Sleep' with Humphrey Bogart and 'Up in Arms' with Danny Kaye, among others.
She married composer William Friml in January 1945 in Santa Ana, Calif. Together they developed ideas and music for Las Vegas acts, TV specials, raised two children, and managed income properties. Divorced in 1968, she later owned a gift shop, became a nurse and did hospice care before retiring to Vermont in 1978, where she enjoyed family, theater, and poetry.
She is survived by son Bill Friml and his wife, Elinor, of New Haven; daughter Shelby and her husband, Gary Guggemos, of Fayston; son Kim Fowley of New Orleans; six grandchildren; and nine nieces and nephews.
A memorial will be held April 8, 2000, in the Church of the Crucified One, Route 100, in Moretown at 1:30 p.m. Shelby was a strong and colorful individual who will be deeply missed."
Source: "Burlington Free Press", March, 2000, archived with other obituaries found at VermontGenealogy.wordpress.com/?s=friml, material posted by "theDarwinException"
BIOGRAPHY. She was the second Shelby of three. The third would be her daughter. The first had been her mother. The first Shelby was widowed when this Shelby was a teen. Her own mother Margaret had had similar circumstances, children to raise after the spouse was gone.
Mother to songwriter and band manager Kim Fowley, of the rock-and-roll world, this Shelby had moments of fame herself. As noted in her obituary, she worked as a model and actress in Hollywood. under her maiden name, Shelby Payne.
Shelby Payne changed her family life drastically, several times, the first time, by marrying son Kim's singer-actor father, Mr. Fowley. Her second marriage was to Mr. Friml, a music arranger. Her Friml children would note that happier relationship eventually ended in divorce, too, but saw her as colorful. The third change was a fresh start Vermont, no longer married
HER PARENTS. Shelby's father, William Wallace Payne, was a lumber exporter born in Washington state, to marry Shelby's mother, who had been born in Portland, partly raised elsewhere. The first Shelby's siblings and her mother Margaret had each been born in a different state, so this Shelby later going to California, where an aunt had been born, was probably seen as normal, maybe as an adventure. Censuses and William's obituary (seen at his grave page here) form a picture, with more travels involved: The Paynes would live in the Pacific Northwest. However, the eldest was first born in the Phillipines, as a US Citizen; the second, in William's home state of Washington, but their middle child, this second Shelby, would see two more siblings follow her birth in Portland, Oregon. Their father, William Payne, would die from influenza when this second Shelby was in her teens.
Shelby's mother is harder to track, pre-marriage. One difficulty? Shelby Martin's family had moved a lot. None of the Martin children was born in the same state, much less, in the same town. Secondly, she was counted as a child of age 9 in her family's 1900 US Census, done in Minneapolis, but her middle initial of S. was the only hint that Shelby was part of her name. Grandmother Margaret clearly preferred the Gay Nineties nickname of Ella to Shelby, so told a different name (Ella S. Martin ) to the census-taker.
Both the first Shelby and her mother Margaret were deceased when the obituary for this Shelby was written. They could not be asked questions to clear things up.
The 9-year-old's father was not present, but when asked about the birthplace of the father of Ella S. and the two older siblings present, Mrs. Martin answered that Mr. Martin had been Canadian. In some old US censuses, a person had to specify Lower or Upper Canada . In 1900, they were asked instead to specify English Canada or French Canada. Margaret, in a position to know, rather than guess, said French. This was plausible, due to some Frenchness in the children's names, the older brother called Robert, the older sister, something more exotic, with the first Shelby's added name of Belle meaning something like "pretty" or "fine". (William Payne's obituary called his widow Shelby Belle Martin. Was Belle pronounced a French Canadian way, similar to Bay-la, but said fast? An English-speaker like Margaret might think it fun to drop the B, leaving Ella as a nickname? Note also that French-Canadian culture allowed two middle names, not just one. The shorter "Shelby Belle" might use two of her three allowed "forenames", the third hidden. )
GRANDMOTHER MARGARET. Margaret E., this Shelby's grandmother, told the census-taker of 1900 that she was born in Minnesota in June of 1861, so as the Civil War began. 1861 was repeated by whomever filled out her death certificate. She was born when Minnesota was still a young state. Did a tiny Margaret watch her father go off to fight in the Civil War, or were married men with small children excused?
Her birth place, her death record said, was the area that later became Edina. It was merely Richfield Twp. then. Wiki historians say more Irish would arrive over the next decade. "By the 1870s, 17 families, most of them immigrating as a result of the Great Famine of Ireland, had come to Minnesota and claimed land in the southwest section of what was then Richfield Township."
The grown Margaret E. Martin worked out of the home in 1900, at a time when the world was not friendly to working mothers. The Martins' census-taker in 1900 wrote some parts clearly, left other parts scribbled.
Clearly written was that that Margaret had had Irish-born parents. She worked as a "matron", the place hard to read, perhaps an H.R. or R.R. Dept. (A job with the railroads would be noted as R. R. and might have required moving periodically.)
Margaret's scribbled marital status in the 1900 Census may have been "Wd" for Widowed or "D" for divorced or something else. The Censuses did not have a clear category for "separated due to work or hospital care".
Life would have been hard, supporting three children. With her income assisted by a teenaged son's paycheck, they were classified as "R". By renting, not owning, they could move more easily. Margaret's native place was Minnesota, said her 1900 Census. This and the children's births in three different states told us Margaret had moved away, then returned with the children.
Did she miss her father's last years by being away? He died in 1888, not yet 60. However, her father Edward Carey had two other married daughters (Dodd and Murray) that were still living in the area for Margaret's 1900 Census. Margaret was the middle daughter of the three, so maybe the first Shelby had cousins there that she cared about.
Margaret and John Martin had moved across the western US several times. This uprooted son Robert at least three times, their elder daughter, at least twice; the first Shelby, being youngest, moved maybe just once, to leave her birthplace of Portland for Minneapolis. Maybe the Payne and Martin families had first come into contact back then?
Margaret's son Robert, the eldest, uncle to this Shelby, was born in Colorado in July of 1881. Their 1900 US Census in Minneapolis, with Margaret the sole parent present, gave Robert's age as 18, making him twice the age of his littlest sister, who was just 9. He worked as a telegraph operator. Margaret's middle child most likely had an exotic name that sounded lovely, but the interviewer maybe mis-guessed the spelling. "Tillare M." was written, with no mention of any Tillare Martin found elsewhere. Age 14 then, aunt to this Shelby, she was described as born in California, in Oct., 1885. Margaret could have had "Tillare" drop out of school to work, but, to the benefit of Tillare's future chances, Tillare was listed as still a student.
There are some disagreements as to facts.
For example, in 1900, Margaret believed the children's father had been born in French Canada, which included Quebec and Montreal. Later descendants would remember something different, giving English Canada as his birthplace. English-speaking Canada was a rather broad region. It ranged westward to Vancouver and Victoria, by the Pacific Ocean, an easy day's drive from Portland. It included Ottawa, instead northish of Minnesota. Its eastmost large city would be Toronto, closer to Detroit and Cleveland. (Children often asked grandparents "Where were did you grow up or come from?", hearing a different answer than if they had asked, "Where were you born?")
Main Source: 1900 US Census, Martin household, Minneapolis, handwritten record, archived at FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:S3HT-DBBQ-Y39
Twenty years later, Margaret would be living with the Dodds for her 1920 Census, still working as a "matron", at a "Ry Station". Was she maybe writing letters to the Paynes in Portland? Tht was common back then, as phone calls were expensive if done too often. Maybe she still sometimes said Ella, instead of the Shelby Belle that her youngest daughter preferred? Margaret would ask about this Shelby, as she would be at a cute stage, two going on three?
Margaret's younger sister, with whom she was staying, Mrs. Dodd (Catherine), would die just two years later, in 1922. Margaret died in 1926. Their elder sister, Mrs. Murray, lasted longest, until 1942. (Mr. Murray's stone gave her name as Mary B. Was that B for Bridget, their mother's name?)
Margaret's father Edward and his three daughters lie buried in the same Catholic cemetery, the large one in Minneapolis that is called Saint Anthony's. All have footstones inside the plot belonging to the Dodds. Margaret E. Martin's footstone was partly submerged, but someone scraped away the tossed grave dirt.
See also: 1920 US Census, Margaret in the Dodd household, handwritten record, kept online at FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33SQ-GR6L-56J
1926, Typed summary of Margaret's death record, mother's surname stated as "Lycette", but not researched to determine whether correct or mis-read:
FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:ZZ35-J1T2
1880 US Census, Margaret not present, her two sisters with Mr. Carey, age 52, calling himself married, not widowed, not clear if she is merely away for the day. He farms in rural Hennepin County. The sister to be buried as Catherine Dodd, is Katie Carey, age 14,. Their sister Mary, age 21, is listed, but withher married surname Murray mis-spelled as"Murrey", her spouse and their 2-month-old son Eddie also there:
FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33S7-9YB4-933P
MARGARET'S GRANDAUGHTER. As a teen leaving home after her father's death in Portland from influenza, was this Shelby, granddaughter of the independent Margaret Martin, trying to also be independent? Be less of a financial drain on her widowed mother? Did she feel scared or confident? Those are things obituaries cannot tell us.
HOLLYWOOD & SON KIM. Shelby's first husband, Mr. Fowley, was studiously avoided in her obituary above, by the rest of the family, for good reasons. His portrayal below is through son Kim's eyes, stated briefly here, as covered more thoroughly elsewhere.
Most people accept that parents, no matter how good overall, no matter how hard they try, make some mistakes. Her son Kim felt his very young mother's mistake was in dealing with her first spouse's treatment of him. Most children ultimately forgive their parent's mistakes, more importantly, learn to not to repeat those mistakes, but it can take decades to get there. Not to understand the consequences until later, nor how things were not entirely Shelby's fault, eldest son Kim expressed his sorrow over the damage done by being left where his biological father could access him, in foster care.
What led her to such a wrong man? Stories about Kim's father hinted of a lifestyle glamorized in the movies, with fine things and servants. She was still young, he was handsome and, being a character actor, could easily avoid presenting his "true self" on dates?
You can hear the normalcy of this Shelby's later years, working as a nurse, and of her other children's very different father, Mr. Friml, in her other children's obituary for her, above. The third Shelby, this Shelby's daughter, Margaret's great-granddaughter, left a touching flower note for her father at Mr. Friml's Findagrave page. She said, "My father who taught me so many things. He was a companion in the woods, a friend at the piano, a teacher outside."
In Kim's autobiography and press interviews, you do not hear normalcy. You instead think you hear howls, or their echoes. They regard the actor with stage name Mr. Fowley, over his biological father's tainted rearing of Kim, suppressed with anger, discussed in pain, then tucked away one more time, waiting inside until he could deal with them.
Some things are glimpsed in a U.S census done in 1940 in Beverly Hills. Shelby's household was headed by Douglas Fowley (his stage name, as his FindaGrave page says his birth name was Daniel Vincent, his birthplace the Bronx). The Fowley house had two live-in servants, plus a baby born in Nebraska eight months earlier.
Perhaps this Shelby had gone to Nebraska for Kim's 1939 birth, to be near non-Hollywood people, for normalcy? Was her older sister living in Nebraska there? Or, maybe the census-taker mis-heard the place?
Kim's Findagrave page, as of 2020, instead gives Los Angeles as Kim's birthplace. That's more exciting for "tour of the stars" presentations, not as boring as Nebraska? Her brother Robert was married and still alive, but not for long.
This Shelby ultimately left Hollywood. She worked as a nurse, among other things, retiring in Addison County, Vermont. Was it perhaps an old hearthplace for some ancestors, as French Canada's Quebec is almost next-door, to the north?
Children who lose cherished parents too early may feel abandoned, not the parents' fault, nor their own. A very young version of herself, her future feeling insecure, had put Kim, for example, in foster care for a time, also not secure. She may have been shocked to learn Kim's singer-actor father, fresh from WW II, would grab him from foster care and take him to Malibu, where the father lived with ex-military buddies.
Shelby's first husband, Douglas Vincent Fowley, would, post-divorce, become Doc Holliday on the 1950s TV western called "Wyatt Earp". Noble on camera, he led a decadent life off-screen, according to Kim's autobiography.
That Hollywood life must have been disastrous for her, as she would divorce Mr. Fowley and then leave her son in foster care. Did she hope that foster parents could better protect him from his father, than she could herself? That didn't happen. Stories told in Fowley's book and interviews describe his father snatching his six-year-old son out of foster care, taking him to places where he would be taught that debauchery was expected, even of six-year olds.
We can imagine that she did what we might do, faced with such losses, unable to fix them. Try to lead a new life? Raise her children in a different kind of house, with a different kind of father, a life more similar to the one in which she had been raised? (Recall that her own father, president of a lumber-exporting business, died, back when she was about 15.)
It appears she did not repeat her mistakes with him, but Kim would repeat some of them. He would eventually apologize to some the members of the "girl band" called The Runaways, some as young as 15, for mistreating them after put under his supervision in the mid-to-late 1970s for record production and rock-and-roll touring.
COPYRIGHT by JBrown, Julia Brown, Austin, TX, March, 2016., last revised Jan., 2021.
Revision in progress, 2021...Her last state of residence was Vermont, named that by the French. To reach French-speaking Quebec from her county of Addison, one had only to cross one other Vermont county, that called Chittenden. Did looking in that direction, north, remind her that her mother, Shelby Belle Martin, had some French names? Did any one in her family pronounce Belle or Martin the French way?
First, her family's obituary, then a tentative history..
===============================================
OBITUARY
SHELBY PAYNE FRIML, MIDDLEBURY —
===============================================
"Shelby Payne Friml, 82, of Middlebury died March 29, 2000, in Brookside Nursing Home in Bradford. She was born Nov. 9, 1917, in Portland, Ore., the daughter of William Wallace Payne and Shelby (Martin) Payne.
Shelby was a former model and actress in Hollywood, entrepreneur and nurse. She modeled for the designer, Adrian; was a Goldwyn Girl in the ’40s. and had small parts in 'The Big Sleep' with Humphrey Bogart and 'Up in Arms' with Danny Kaye, among others.
She married composer William Friml in January 1945 in Santa Ana, Calif. Together they developed ideas and music for Las Vegas acts, TV specials, raised two children, and managed income properties. Divorced in 1968, she later owned a gift shop, became a nurse and did hospice care before retiring to Vermont in 1978, where she enjoyed family, theater, and poetry.
She is survived by son Bill Friml and his wife, Elinor, of New Haven; daughter Shelby and her husband, Gary Guggemos, of Fayston; son Kim Fowley of New Orleans; six grandchildren; and nine nieces and nephews.
A memorial will be held April 8, 2000, in the Church of the Crucified One, Route 100, in Moretown at 1:30 p.m. Shelby was a strong and colorful individual who will be deeply missed."
Source: "Burlington Free Press", March, 2000, archived with other obituaries found at VermontGenealogy.wordpress.com/?s=friml, material posted by "theDarwinException"
BIOGRAPHY. She was the second Shelby of three. The third would be her daughter. The first had been her mother. The first Shelby was widowed when this Shelby was a teen. Her own mother Margaret had had similar circumstances, children to raise after the spouse was gone.
Mother to songwriter and band manager Kim Fowley, of the rock-and-roll world, this Shelby had moments of fame herself. As noted in her obituary, she worked as a model and actress in Hollywood. under her maiden name, Shelby Payne.
Shelby Payne changed her family life drastically, several times, the first time, by marrying son Kim's singer-actor father, Mr. Fowley. Her second marriage was to Mr. Friml, a music arranger. Her Friml children would note that happier relationship eventually ended in divorce, too, but saw her as colorful. The third change was a fresh start Vermont, no longer married
HER PARENTS. Shelby's father, William Wallace Payne, was a lumber exporter born in Washington state, to marry Shelby's mother, who had been born in Portland, partly raised elsewhere. The first Shelby's siblings and her mother Margaret had each been born in a different state, so this Shelby later going to California, where an aunt had been born, was probably seen as normal, maybe as an adventure. Censuses and William's obituary (seen at his grave page here) form a picture, with more travels involved: The Paynes would live in the Pacific Northwest. However, the eldest was first born in the Phillipines, as a US Citizen; the second, in William's home state of Washington, but their middle child, this second Shelby, would see two more siblings follow her birth in Portland, Oregon. Their father, William Payne, would die from influenza when this second Shelby was in her teens.
Shelby's mother is harder to track, pre-marriage. One difficulty? Shelby Martin's family had moved a lot. None of the Martin children was born in the same state, much less, in the same town. Secondly, she was counted as a child of age 9 in her family's 1900 US Census, done in Minneapolis, but her middle initial of S. was the only hint that Shelby was part of her name. Grandmother Margaret clearly preferred the Gay Nineties nickname of Ella to Shelby, so told a different name (Ella S. Martin ) to the census-taker.
Both the first Shelby and her mother Margaret were deceased when the obituary for this Shelby was written. They could not be asked questions to clear things up.
The 9-year-old's father was not present, but when asked about the birthplace of the father of Ella S. and the two older siblings present, Mrs. Martin answered that Mr. Martin had been Canadian. In some old US censuses, a person had to specify Lower or Upper Canada . In 1900, they were asked instead to specify English Canada or French Canada. Margaret, in a position to know, rather than guess, said French. This was plausible, due to some Frenchness in the children's names, the older brother called Robert, the older sister, something more exotic, with the first Shelby's added name of Belle meaning something like "pretty" or "fine". (William Payne's obituary called his widow Shelby Belle Martin. Was Belle pronounced a French Canadian way, similar to Bay-la, but said fast? An English-speaker like Margaret might think it fun to drop the B, leaving Ella as a nickname? Note also that French-Canadian culture allowed two middle names, not just one. The shorter "Shelby Belle" might use two of her three allowed "forenames", the third hidden. )
GRANDMOTHER MARGARET. Margaret E., this Shelby's grandmother, told the census-taker of 1900 that she was born in Minnesota in June of 1861, so as the Civil War began. 1861 was repeated by whomever filled out her death certificate. She was born when Minnesota was still a young state. Did a tiny Margaret watch her father go off to fight in the Civil War, or were married men with small children excused?
Her birth place, her death record said, was the area that later became Edina. It was merely Richfield Twp. then. Wiki historians say more Irish would arrive over the next decade. "By the 1870s, 17 families, most of them immigrating as a result of the Great Famine of Ireland, had come to Minnesota and claimed land in the southwest section of what was then Richfield Township."
The grown Margaret E. Martin worked out of the home in 1900, at a time when the world was not friendly to working mothers. The Martins' census-taker in 1900 wrote some parts clearly, left other parts scribbled.
Clearly written was that that Margaret had had Irish-born parents. She worked as a "matron", the place hard to read, perhaps an H.R. or R.R. Dept. (A job with the railroads would be noted as R. R. and might have required moving periodically.)
Margaret's scribbled marital status in the 1900 Census may have been "Wd" for Widowed or "D" for divorced or something else. The Censuses did not have a clear category for "separated due to work or hospital care".
Life would have been hard, supporting three children. With her income assisted by a teenaged son's paycheck, they were classified as "R". By renting, not owning, they could move more easily. Margaret's native place was Minnesota, said her 1900 Census. This and the children's births in three different states told us Margaret had moved away, then returned with the children.
Did she miss her father's last years by being away? He died in 1888, not yet 60. However, her father Edward Carey had two other married daughters (Dodd and Murray) that were still living in the area for Margaret's 1900 Census. Margaret was the middle daughter of the three, so maybe the first Shelby had cousins there that she cared about.
Margaret and John Martin had moved across the western US several times. This uprooted son Robert at least three times, their elder daughter, at least twice; the first Shelby, being youngest, moved maybe just once, to leave her birthplace of Portland for Minneapolis. Maybe the Payne and Martin families had first come into contact back then?
Margaret's son Robert, the eldest, uncle to this Shelby, was born in Colorado in July of 1881. Their 1900 US Census in Minneapolis, with Margaret the sole parent present, gave Robert's age as 18, making him twice the age of his littlest sister, who was just 9. He worked as a telegraph operator. Margaret's middle child most likely had an exotic name that sounded lovely, but the interviewer maybe mis-guessed the spelling. "Tillare M." was written, with no mention of any Tillare Martin found elsewhere. Age 14 then, aunt to this Shelby, she was described as born in California, in Oct., 1885. Margaret could have had "Tillare" drop out of school to work, but, to the benefit of Tillare's future chances, Tillare was listed as still a student.
There are some disagreements as to facts.
For example, in 1900, Margaret believed the children's father had been born in French Canada, which included Quebec and Montreal. Later descendants would remember something different, giving English Canada as his birthplace. English-speaking Canada was a rather broad region. It ranged westward to Vancouver and Victoria, by the Pacific Ocean, an easy day's drive from Portland. It included Ottawa, instead northish of Minnesota. Its eastmost large city would be Toronto, closer to Detroit and Cleveland. (Children often asked grandparents "Where were did you grow up or come from?", hearing a different answer than if they had asked, "Where were you born?")
Main Source: 1900 US Census, Martin household, Minneapolis, handwritten record, archived at FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:S3HT-DBBQ-Y39
Twenty years later, Margaret would be living with the Dodds for her 1920 Census, still working as a "matron", at a "Ry Station". Was she maybe writing letters to the Paynes in Portland? Tht was common back then, as phone calls were expensive if done too often. Maybe she still sometimes said Ella, instead of the Shelby Belle that her youngest daughter preferred? Margaret would ask about this Shelby, as she would be at a cute stage, two going on three?
Margaret's younger sister, with whom she was staying, Mrs. Dodd (Catherine), would die just two years later, in 1922. Margaret died in 1926. Their elder sister, Mrs. Murray, lasted longest, until 1942. (Mr. Murray's stone gave her name as Mary B. Was that B for Bridget, their mother's name?)
Margaret's father Edward and his three daughters lie buried in the same Catholic cemetery, the large one in Minneapolis that is called Saint Anthony's. All have footstones inside the plot belonging to the Dodds. Margaret E. Martin's footstone was partly submerged, but someone scraped away the tossed grave dirt.
See also: 1920 US Census, Margaret in the Dodd household, handwritten record, kept online at FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33SQ-GR6L-56J
1926, Typed summary of Margaret's death record, mother's surname stated as "Lycette", but not researched to determine whether correct or mis-read:
FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:ZZ35-J1T2
1880 US Census, Margaret not present, her two sisters with Mr. Carey, age 52, calling himself married, not widowed, not clear if she is merely away for the day. He farms in rural Hennepin County. The sister to be buried as Catherine Dodd, is Katie Carey, age 14,. Their sister Mary, age 21, is listed, but withher married surname Murray mis-spelled as"Murrey", her spouse and their 2-month-old son Eddie also there:
FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33S7-9YB4-933P
MARGARET'S GRANDAUGHTER. As a teen leaving home after her father's death in Portland from influenza, was this Shelby, granddaughter of the independent Margaret Martin, trying to also be independent? Be less of a financial drain on her widowed mother? Did she feel scared or confident? Those are things obituaries cannot tell us.
HOLLYWOOD & SON KIM. Shelby's first husband, Mr. Fowley, was studiously avoided in her obituary above, by the rest of the family, for good reasons. His portrayal below is through son Kim's eyes, stated briefly here, as covered more thoroughly elsewhere.
Most people accept that parents, no matter how good overall, no matter how hard they try, make some mistakes. Her son Kim felt his very young mother's mistake was in dealing with her first spouse's treatment of him. Most children ultimately forgive their parent's mistakes, more importantly, learn to not to repeat those mistakes, but it can take decades to get there. Not to understand the consequences until later, nor how things were not entirely Shelby's fault, eldest son Kim expressed his sorrow over the damage done by being left where his biological father could access him, in foster care.
What led her to such a wrong man? Stories about Kim's father hinted of a lifestyle glamorized in the movies, with fine things and servants. She was still young, he was handsome and, being a character actor, could easily avoid presenting his "true self" on dates?
You can hear the normalcy of this Shelby's later years, working as a nurse, and of her other children's very different father, Mr. Friml, in her other children's obituary for her, above. The third Shelby, this Shelby's daughter, Margaret's great-granddaughter, left a touching flower note for her father at Mr. Friml's Findagrave page. She said, "My father who taught me so many things. He was a companion in the woods, a friend at the piano, a teacher outside."
In Kim's autobiography and press interviews, you do not hear normalcy. You instead think you hear howls, or their echoes. They regard the actor with stage name Mr. Fowley, over his biological father's tainted rearing of Kim, suppressed with anger, discussed in pain, then tucked away one more time, waiting inside until he could deal with them.
Some things are glimpsed in a U.S census done in 1940 in Beverly Hills. Shelby's household was headed by Douglas Fowley (his stage name, as his FindaGrave page says his birth name was Daniel Vincent, his birthplace the Bronx). The Fowley house had two live-in servants, plus a baby born in Nebraska eight months earlier.
Perhaps this Shelby had gone to Nebraska for Kim's 1939 birth, to be near non-Hollywood people, for normalcy? Was her older sister living in Nebraska there? Or, maybe the census-taker mis-heard the place?
Kim's Findagrave page, as of 2020, instead gives Los Angeles as Kim's birthplace. That's more exciting for "tour of the stars" presentations, not as boring as Nebraska? Her brother Robert was married and still alive, but not for long.
This Shelby ultimately left Hollywood. She worked as a nurse, among other things, retiring in Addison County, Vermont. Was it perhaps an old hearthplace for some ancestors, as French Canada's Quebec is almost next-door, to the north?
Children who lose cherished parents too early may feel abandoned, not the parents' fault, nor their own. A very young version of herself, her future feeling insecure, had put Kim, for example, in foster care for a time, also not secure. She may have been shocked to learn Kim's singer-actor father, fresh from WW II, would grab him from foster care and take him to Malibu, where the father lived with ex-military buddies.
Shelby's first husband, Douglas Vincent Fowley, would, post-divorce, become Doc Holliday on the 1950s TV western called "Wyatt Earp". Noble on camera, he led a decadent life off-screen, according to Kim's autobiography.
That Hollywood life must have been disastrous for her, as she would divorce Mr. Fowley and then leave her son in foster care. Did she hope that foster parents could better protect him from his father, than she could herself? That didn't happen. Stories told in Fowley's book and interviews describe his father snatching his six-year-old son out of foster care, taking him to places where he would be taught that debauchery was expected, even of six-year olds.
We can imagine that she did what we might do, faced with such losses, unable to fix them. Try to lead a new life? Raise her children in a different kind of house, with a different kind of father, a life more similar to the one in which she had been raised? (Recall that her own father, president of a lumber-exporting business, died, back when she was about 15.)
It appears she did not repeat her mistakes with him, but Kim would repeat some of them. He would eventually apologize to some the members of the "girl band" called The Runaways, some as young as 15, for mistreating them after put under his supervision in the mid-to-late 1970s for record production and rock-and-roll touring.
COPYRIGHT by JBrown, Julia Brown, Austin, TX, March, 2016., last revised Jan., 2021.
First, her family's obituary, then a tentative history..
===============================================
OBITUARY
SHELBY PAYNE FRIML, MIDDLEBURY —
===============================================
"Shelby Payne Friml, 82, of Middlebury died March 29, 2000, in Brookside Nursing Home in Bradford. She was born Nov. 9, 1917, in Portland, Ore., the daughter of William Wallace Payne and Shelby (Martin) Payne.
Shelby was a former model and actress in Hollywood, entrepreneur and nurse. She modeled for the designer, Adrian; was a Goldwyn Girl in the ’40s. and had small parts in 'The Big Sleep' with Humphrey Bogart and 'Up in Arms' with Danny Kaye, among others.
She married composer William Friml in January 1945 in Santa Ana, Calif. Together they developed ideas and music for Las Vegas acts, TV specials, raised two children, and managed income properties. Divorced in 1968, she later owned a gift shop, became a nurse and did hospice care before retiring to Vermont in 1978, where she enjoyed family, theater, and poetry.
She is survived by son Bill Friml and his wife, Elinor, of New Haven; daughter Shelby and her husband, Gary Guggemos, of Fayston; son Kim Fowley of New Orleans; six grandchildren; and nine nieces and nephews.
A memorial will be held April 8, 2000, in the Church of the Crucified One, Route 100, in Moretown at 1:30 p.m. Shelby was a strong and colorful individual who will be deeply missed."
Source: "Burlington Free Press", March, 2000, archived with other obituaries found at VermontGenealogy.wordpress.com/?s=friml, material posted by "theDarwinException"
BIOGRAPHY. She was the second Shelby of three. The third would be her daughter. The first had been her mother. The first Shelby was widowed when this Shelby was a teen. Her own mother Margaret had had similar circumstances, children to raise after the spouse was gone.
Mother to songwriter and band manager Kim Fowley, of the rock-and-roll world, this Shelby had moments of fame herself. As noted in her obituary, she worked as a model and actress in Hollywood. under her maiden name, Shelby Payne.
Shelby Payne changed her family life drastically, several times, the first time, by marrying son Kim's singer-actor father, Mr. Fowley. Her second marriage was to Mr. Friml, a music arranger. Her Friml children would note that happier relationship eventually ended in divorce, too, but saw her as colorful. The third change was a fresh start Vermont, no longer married
HER PARENTS. Shelby's father, William Wallace Payne, was a lumber exporter born in Washington state, to marry Shelby's mother, who had been born in Portland, partly raised elsewhere. The first Shelby's siblings and her mother Margaret had each been born in a different state, so this Shelby later going to California, where an aunt had been born, was probably seen as normal, maybe as an adventure. Censuses and William's obituary (seen at his grave page here) form a picture, with more travels involved: The Paynes would live in the Pacific Northwest. However, the eldest was first born in the Phillipines, as a US Citizen; the second, in William's home state of Washington, but their middle child, this second Shelby, would see two more siblings follow her birth in Portland, Oregon. Their father, William Payne, would die from influenza when this second Shelby was in her teens.
Shelby's mother is harder to track, pre-marriage. One difficulty? Shelby Martin's family had moved a lot. None of the Martin children was born in the same state, much less, in the same town. Secondly, she was counted as a child of age 9 in her family's 1900 US Census, done in Minneapolis, but her middle initial of S. was the only hint that Shelby was part of her name. Grandmother Margaret clearly preferred the Gay Nineties nickname of Ella to Shelby, so told a different name (Ella S. Martin ) to the census-taker.
Both the first Shelby and her mother Margaret were deceased when the obituary for this Shelby was written. They could not be asked questions to clear things up.
The 9-year-old's father was not present, but when asked about the birthplace of the father of Ella S. and the two older siblings present, Mrs. Martin answered that Mr. Martin had been Canadian. In some old US censuses, a person had to specify Lower or Upper Canada . In 1900, they were asked instead to specify English Canada or French Canada. Margaret, in a position to know, rather than guess, said French. This was plausible, due to some Frenchness in the children's names, the older brother called Robert, the older sister, something more exotic, with the first Shelby's added name of Belle meaning something like "pretty" or "fine". (William Payne's obituary called his widow Shelby Belle Martin. Was Belle pronounced a French Canadian way, similar to Bay-la, but said fast? An English-speaker like Margaret might think it fun to drop the B, leaving Ella as a nickname? Note also that French-Canadian culture allowed two middle names, not just one. The shorter "Shelby Belle" might use two of her three allowed "forenames", the third hidden. )
GRANDMOTHER MARGARET. Margaret E., this Shelby's grandmother, told the census-taker of 1900 that she was born in Minnesota in June of 1861, so as the Civil War began. 1861 was repeated by whomever filled out her death certificate. She was born when Minnesota was still a young state. Did a tiny Margaret watch her father go off to fight in the Civil War, or were married men with small children excused?
Her birth place, her death record said, was the area that later became Edina. It was merely Richfield Twp. then. Wiki historians say more Irish would arrive over the next decade. "By the 1870s, 17 families, most of them immigrating as a result of the Great Famine of Ireland, had come to Minnesota and claimed land in the southwest section of what was then Richfield Township."
The grown Margaret E. Martin worked out of the home in 1900, at a time when the world was not friendly to working mothers. The Martins' census-taker in 1900 wrote some parts clearly, left other parts scribbled.
Clearly written was that that Margaret had had Irish-born parents. She worked as a "matron", the place hard to read, perhaps an H.R. or R.R. Dept. (A job with the railroads would be noted as R. R. and might have required moving periodically.)
Margaret's scribbled marital status in the 1900 Census may have been "Wd" for Widowed or "D" for divorced or something else. The Censuses did not have a clear category for "separated due to work or hospital care".
Life would have been hard, supporting three children. With her income assisted by a teenaged son's paycheck, they were classified as "R". By renting, not owning, they could move more easily. Margaret's native place was Minnesota, said her 1900 Census. This and the children's births in three different states told us Margaret had moved away, then returned with the children.
Did she miss her father's last years by being away? He died in 1888, not yet 60. However, her father Edward Carey had two other married daughters (Dodd and Murray) that were still living in the area for Margaret's 1900 Census. Margaret was the middle daughter of the three, so maybe the first Shelby had cousins there that she cared about.
Margaret and John Martin had moved across the western US several times. This uprooted son Robert at least three times, their elder daughter, at least twice; the first Shelby, being youngest, moved maybe just once, to leave her birthplace of Portland for Minneapolis. Maybe the Payne and Martin families had first come into contact back then?
Margaret's son Robert, the eldest, uncle to this Shelby, was born in Colorado in July of 1881. Their 1900 US Census in Minneapolis, with Margaret the sole parent present, gave Robert's age as 18, making him twice the age of his littlest sister, who was just 9. He worked as a telegraph operator. Margaret's middle child most likely had an exotic name that sounded lovely, but the interviewer maybe mis-guessed the spelling. "Tillare M." was written, with no mention of any Tillare Martin found elsewhere. Age 14 then, aunt to this Shelby, she was described as born in California, in Oct., 1885. Margaret could have had "Tillare" drop out of school to work, but, to the benefit of Tillare's future chances, Tillare was listed as still a student.
There are some disagreements as to facts.
For example, in 1900, Margaret believed the children's father had been born in French Canada, which included Quebec and Montreal. Later descendants would remember something different, giving English Canada as his birthplace. English-speaking Canada was a rather broad region. It ranged westward to Vancouver and Victoria, by the Pacific Ocean, an easy day's drive from Portland. It included Ottawa, instead northish of Minnesota. Its eastmost large city would be Toronto, closer to Detroit and Cleveland. (Children often asked grandparents "Where were did you grow up or come from?", hearing a different answer than if they had asked, "Where were you born?")
Main Source: 1900 US Census, Martin household, Minneapolis, handwritten record, archived at FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:S3HT-DBBQ-Y39
Twenty years later, Margaret would be living with the Dodds for her 1920 Census, still working as a "matron", at a "Ry Station". Was she maybe writing letters to the Paynes in Portland? Tht was common back then, as phone calls were expensive if done too often. Maybe she still sometimes said Ella, instead of the Shelby Belle that her youngest daughter preferred? Margaret would ask about this Shelby, as she would be at a cute stage, two going on three?
Margaret's younger sister, with whom she was staying, Mrs. Dodd (Catherine), would die just two years later, in 1922. Margaret died in 1926. Their elder sister, Mrs. Murray, lasted longest, until 1942. (Mr. Murray's stone gave her name as Mary B. Was that B for Bridget, their mother's name?)
Margaret's father Edward and his three daughters lie buried in the same Catholic cemetery, the large one in Minneapolis that is called Saint Anthony's. All have footstones inside the plot belonging to the Dodds. Margaret E. Martin's footstone was partly submerged, but someone scraped away the tossed grave dirt.
See also: 1920 US Census, Margaret in the Dodd household, handwritten record, kept online at FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33SQ-GR6L-56J
1926, Typed summary of Margaret's death record, mother's surname stated as "Lycette", but not researched to determine whether correct or mis-read:
FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:ZZ35-J1T2
1880 US Census, Margaret not present, her two sisters with Mr. Carey, age 52, calling himself married, not widowed, not clear if she is merely away for the day. He farms in rural Hennepin County. The sister to be buried as Catherine Dodd, is Katie Carey, age 14,. Their sister Mary, age 21, is listed, but withher married surname Murray mis-spelled as"Murrey", her spouse and their 2-month-old son Eddie also there:
FamilySearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33S7-9YB4-933P
MARGARET'S GRANDAUGHTER. As a teen leaving home after her father's death in Portland from influenza, was this Shelby, granddaughter of the independent Margaret Martin, trying to also be independent? Be less of a financial drain on her widowed mother? Did she feel scared or confident? Those are things obituaries cannot tell us.
HOLLYWOOD & SON KIM. Shelby's first husband, Mr. Fowley, was studiously avoided in her obituary above, by the rest of the family, for good reasons. His portrayal below is through son Kim's eyes, stated briefly here, as covered more thoroughly elsewhere.
Most people accept that parents, no matter how good overall, no matter how hard they try, make some mistakes. Her son Kim felt his very young mother's mistake was in dealing with her first spouse's treatment of him. Most children ultimately forgive their parent's mistakes, more importantly, learn to not to repeat those mistakes, but it can take decades to get there. Not to understand the consequences until later, nor how things were not entirely Shelby's fault, eldest son Kim expressed his sorrow over the damage done by being left where his biological father could access him, in foster care.
What led her to such a wrong man? Stories about Kim's father hinted of a lifestyle glamorized in the movies, with fine things and servants. She was still young, he was handsome and, being a character actor, could easily avoid presenting his "true self" on dates?
You can hear the normalcy of this Shelby's later years, working as a nurse, and of her other children's very different father, Mr. Friml, in her other children's obituary for her, above. The third Shelby, this Shelby's daughter, Margaret's great-granddaughter, left a touching flower note for her father at Mr. Friml's Findagrave page. She said, "My father who taught me so many things. He was a companion in the woods, a friend at the piano, a teacher outside."
In Kim's autobiography and press interviews, you do not hear normalcy. You instead think you hear howls, or their echoes. They regard the actor with stage name Mr. Fowley, over his biological father's tainted rearing of Kim, suppressed with anger, discussed in pain, then tucked away one more time, waiting inside until he could deal with them.
Some things are glimpsed in a U.S census done in 1940 in Beverly Hills. Shelby's household was headed by Douglas Fowley (his stage name, as his FindaGrave page says his birth name was Daniel Vincent, his birthplace the Bronx). The Fowley house had two live-in servants, plus a baby born in Nebraska eight months earlier.
Perhaps this Shelby had gone to Nebraska for Kim's 1939 birth, to be near non-Hollywood people, for normalcy? Was her older sister living in Nebraska there? Or, maybe the census-taker mis-heard the place?
Kim's Findagrave page, as of 2020, instead gives Los Angeles as Kim's birthplace. That's more exciting for "tour of the stars" presentations, not as boring as Nebraska? Her brother Robert was married and still alive, but not for long.
This Shelby ultimately left Hollywood. She worked as a nurse, among other things, retiring in Addison County, Vermont. Was it perhaps an old hearthplace for some ancestors, as French Canada's Quebec is almost next-door, to the north?
Children who lose cherished parents too early may feel abandoned, not the parents' fault, nor their own. A very young version of herself, her future feeling insecure, had put Kim, for example, in foster care for a time, also not secure. She may have been shocked to learn Kim's singer-actor father, fresh from WW II, would grab him from foster care and take him to Malibu, where the father lived with ex-military buddies.
Shelby's first husband, Douglas Vincent Fowley, would, post-divorce, become Doc Holliday on the 1950s TV western called "Wyatt Earp". Noble on camera, he led a decadent life off-screen, according to Kim's autobiography.
That Hollywood life must have been disastrous for her, as she would divorce Mr. Fowley and then leave her son in foster care. Did she hope that foster parents could better protect him from his father, than she could herself? That didn't happen. Stories told in Fowley's book and interviews describe his father snatching his six-year-old son out of foster care, taking him to places where he would be taught that debauchery was expected, even of six-year olds.
We can imagine that she did what we might do, faced with such losses, unable to fix them. Try to lead a new life? Raise her children in a different kind of house, with a different kind of father, a life more similar to the one in which she had been raised? (Recall that her own father, president of a lumber-exporting business, died, back when she was about 15.)
It appears she did not repeat her mistakes with him, but Kim would repeat some of them. He would eventually apologize to some the members of the "girl band" called The Runaways, some as young as 15, for mistreating them after put under his supervision in the mid-to-late 1970s for record production and rock-and-roll touring.
COPYRIGHT by JBrown, Julia Brown, Austin, TX, March, 2016., last revised Jan., 2021.
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