|Birth: ||Aug. 10, 1971|
New Jersey, USA
|Death: ||Apr. 23, 2010|
Robin Baker was the daughter of Doris Roberts and Mike Baker.
She was married to Shawn Phillips and had one daughter, Paige Eleanor Ann Phillips.
Robin and Shawn shared time equally with Paige. After their divorce she married a man named Dallas Smith.
Robin was diagnosed with cervical cancer the summer of 2007. At that time she was also going through a divorce with Dallas, so she moved in with her mom.
Over the next three years, Robin's health problems escalated. A complete hysterectomy to remove the cancer also damaged her bladder. It would take days before anyone realized it and she wound up in the ICU. Further problems with her kidneys required that she be on dialysis. She had chemo and radiation and everyone assumed that she would fully recover eventually.
Through the next two years, Robin suffered many medical setbacks. It was agony for her parents, daughter, family and friends to watch her suffer and be able to do nothing to ease it for her.
With the possible exception of Robin, no one knew that her cancer had returned. After severe complications in April 2010 resulted in several ER trips, she was transferred to an Indianapolis hospital where a middle of the night emergency surgery was attempted. She did not survive the surgery and the surgeons informed the family that she had been consumed with stage 4 cancer.
Something I found remarkable about Robin was that she freely shared her daughter with me. Even referring to me as her co-mom rather than a step-mom. When I met Paige she was just a three-year-old little girl and I began to take care of her when her father moved in with me. Her father had her a minimum of 50 percent of the time and often more as he and Robin freely shared their time with Paige and always both wanted what was best for her. Paige was seven when Robin was diagnosed with cancer and Robin's health necessitated that Shawn and I have Paige full time. We did our very best to help Robin in any way she needed it. It was such a difficult time for everyone, but now knowing how little time she actually had left it was all worth every minute of memory that Paige was able to make with her mom.
Not knowing that Robin's cancer had returned, Shawn and I had made plans to get married on May 1, 2010 after more than six years together. Robin had sent me a beautiful text message telling me how happy she was and that even if it was weird..she loved me. I saved that message and I am so glad I did. I tell you this because I think it is one of the things that stands out in how different she was than most women.
On the night of April 23rd, Doris called and told us that Robin was gone. Because none of us knew the cancer had returned, we were stunned. My heart broke for her mom, dad and brother, but I was even more consumed with fear and dread at telling Paige her mom was gone. We had spent so many nights assuring her and reassuring her that her mom was going to get better.
It was the most heart-breaking thing I have ever seen, and I believe with all my heart that God guided Paige's dad that day when he had to tell Paige and he kept her wrapped in his arms. Over the next hours and days I noticed that Paige never left my side. It really hit me that God or Robin or fate knew I was going to be this little girl's mother one day and they had all steered us on this journey to this point where I could provide her solace and stability while she suffered a loss no little girl should ever have to.
We put Paige in grief counseling, and she is doing so well. In some ways, it is like the weight of the world is off of her shoulders, she had seen her mom suffer so much. It is still a daily worry that she carries burdens and sorrows in her heart that keep her from being like the other little girls. Mother's day and birthdays always come with some sadness. I think often of the days she will go to prom, graduation, her wedding, and the birth of her own children and how unfair it is that she can't have the full joy in that that others do who get to celebrate with their mothers.
I created this memorial because Robin was cremated. I think this memorial is at least a small bit of who Robin was and something tangible for Paige to see and remember her mom as she gets older.
Robin is survived by her daughter Paige, mother Doris Baker, father and step-mother Mike and Pat Baker, brother Andy Baker, her best friend Michelle and quite a few aunts, uncles and cousins.
NOTE added July 10, 2011: A celebration and memorial of Robin's life was held on Mother's Day 2011. Her mother planted a tree in a local park along with a rock engraved with "We love you" while many helium balloons were released toward heaven and at Elm Ridge Cemetery her father had a beautiful bench made and set up for her and her ashes are buried there now. He also felt like there needed to be someplace to go. Paige is doing as well as anyone could hope. She misses her mom and sadly we can't take that pain away. But she is thriving and doing well in school and calls me mom now. When she talks about us both she calls her mom "Mom #1" and I am "Mom #2". I love that little girl so much. I will try every day to be deserving of that title and protect her and be there for her all of my life.
Elm Ridge Memorial Park
Plot: Buried ashes and Bench Memorial
Created by: Crystal
Record added: Jul 27, 2010
Find A Grave Memorial# 55530706