Charles Andrews Barrow Letter – 10 February 1856

The following was a letter sent from Charles Andrews Barrow 1811-1868 to Henry Ernest Wylde 1832-1881. The "Elisabeth" Charles referred to was his daughter, Elizabeth Barrow 1836-1911. In this letter that was dated 10 February 1856, Charles appears to be telling Henry that his offer of marriage to his daughter, though well respected, was initially not well received because his daughter did not want to live abroad. As he put it, "She has fully made up her mind not to live abroad." Henry was a "ship chandler and commission maritime agent" in Constantinople [Istanbul, Turkey] at the time of his proposal to Elizabeth. He may have also disclosed his longing to settle in the United States. One can well imagine the granddaughter of the Magistrate of Wedmore, England, then living in London and Wedmore, England, not finding Constantinople or the United States too appealing. Charles, her father, was enlisted to send the "Dear John" letter.

However, in just over a year, Elizabeth had married Henry and by 1858 Elizabeth had her fist daughter Sophia Frances Andrews Wylde in Constantinople. In October 1859, their second child was born in England. In 1861 the family was living at Walthamstow, Essex, England. In just 11 years after this letter was written, Elizabeth was on her way to the United States to settle. The couple settled in a little community known as "Moses Town" which is now New City, Rockland County, New York. Two of Henry and Elizabeth's daughters moved back to England when they were in their 20's. I often wondered what prompted the move since they were raised in the US. Once reading this letter, it became evident that Elizabeth never quite "took" to living in a remote area of New York and expressed her dismay to do so encouraging her daughters "to move back."

Envelope Addressed to:

• Henry Ernest Wylde, Esq.

• Messrs. Wright Physica & Co

• Galata of Constantinople

• Via French Packets

The Following Letter was Addressed to Henry Ernest Wylde and sent to him by his intended father-in- law, Charles Barrow.

Cornwall Terrace

See, Stout, Feby 10, 1856,

My dear Henry,

Your Mother tells me, that you have received no reply to your letter to Elisabeth. I am sorry for this, as I am extremely unwilling that you should have an impression that your communication was not treated with kindness and respect.

I assure you, I pondered over the contents of your letter, and having the interest of my dear child at heart, I felt the decision come to, as of serious import; for I felt, that of Providence should bless me, before I left this world, with the sight of my children's happiness in the keeping of steady worthy man, I should be a happy man indeed.

I wrote you on the 9th December, & subjoined is, as near a copy, as possible of what I said & trusting there will be no irregularity in the receipt of this, I remain, Dear Henry, Yours most truly, Charles Barrow.

On my return from Wedmore yesterday, Elizabeth gave me your letter. She has fully made up her mind not to live abroad. It would therefore be superfluous to enlarge upon the subject, but she hopes you will not attribute to any unkind feeling on her part, but not replying to you herself, as I gave her my opinion that I thought it better for me to write you. Now by dear Henry, I have carefully read your letter. Your sentiments show a good head, and heart, and I feel confident that the happiness of any young woman ____ to be your wife, would be safe in your keeping.

I consider the offer of a worthy man's hand to a female, the highest compliment he can pay her, and we regard your offer in that light. – We all wish you every success, and shall always take an interest in your welfare. Believe me Dear Henry with kind regards in which all join.

▪  This letter was passed down through the generations and given to Carole Nurmi Cummings [Born October 17, 1955] in August 2020 by her 3rd cousin Vicki Washburn Pandiscio.