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"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." --George Santayana|
Requests and Transfers
Please see below my bio:
I've loved history, research and have been fascinated with the Old West/Victorian times, since I can remember. So when I was introduced to genealogy it just fit! It began for me in 1991 when I was asked by a sweet, elderly neighbor to help her with her family history, as she was legally blind and "afraid to learn how to do this stuff alone, and I sense you love well and learn well." I gave it a try, was quickly hooked and later, became a Genealogist. My first realization that history was a passion for me began in childhood and came through the freakish looks my friends would give me as I'd stand motionless and stare at the dilapidated remains of old cabins, sheds and homesteads; wishing that for just a few seconds I could go back in time to see and feel what they did. I wanted to know what life was like for those that lived there, built their lives literally by the sweat of their brow and sacrificed so much in search of truth, freedoms and a new way. I'm grateful for and to them.
I was born in 1962, have been happily married since 1983, we have four grown and great kids. I grew up in Utah County, mostly Provo, but have lived in Montana since 1996. I love: my family, music, learning, truth, teaching, humor, words, reading, research, singing, children, history, psychology, horses and dogs, mountains, four seasons, sewing, creating, designing, color, being trusted, defending people, organizing, quilts, observing people, serving, volunteering, and the many opportunities I've been given to help people find the best in themselves... their gifts. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ, and His simple truths He shares. I don't love: making mistakes, my weaknesses, condescension, injustice, when power is more important than people, abuse of any kind, especially of the innocent; the use of "so called" truth and religion to gain control over people (ignoring the gift of free will), and when fear stops people from doing the right thing, especially when I notice it in myself.
Pursuing my family history has provided me with much more than I ever anticipated. I am the oldest of six children, as well as, three half siblings and a step-sister. I grew up fast in an incestuous, abusive, negligent, sadistic, chronically traumatic and controlled; yet deeply religious home. I lied to hide it, protect, relate and survive. I felt (and was expected to be) responsible to the extreme, for the well-being of my younger siblings and saw clearly, at a young age, that my parents had been harmed, also. I had many questions, feelings and needs I wasn't allowed to express. The effects caused four disabilities, but I am healing. I've had much to heal in terms of trust in anything or anyone, identity, hope, and just how far back this multi-generational hell goes. Why are the meek, shy, honest and loving in my family devoured by the rest? The ultimate examples are the murder of my paternal grandfather (one of two adults I ever felt unconditional love from in my family) by his own wife, when I was nine years old; as well as, the suicide of one brother. I could not accept that to be loving, sensitive and truthful meant you'd be abused/destroyed and it contradicted the Gospel I was "taught" in the same family and home. I've found some answers, learned much and continue to. The Gospel of Jesus Christ will ALWAYS be true.
I've learned that my heritage also has much greatness besides horrendous abuses and suffering. I see now why I was so compelled to be the first in at least four generations (that I know of) to speak the ugly truth out loud...at age 15. I've been denied, persecuted, threatened, abandoned and alienated by the same people I dedicated my life to. Blamed for "ruining the family" by not keeping the secrets, but still used as their servant, confidant and the only one they could turn to when they needed to be loved, a place to live, to speak their truth and be understood. I see and feel intensely, as I move through my healing and the discovery of each ancestor; that they are grateful the truth is out. They're sorry for the destruction they either passed down or concealed (denied) and they feel freedom as I find and slowly forgive them. They want and need the truth more than ever, since leaving this life. They are grateful that they matter, that their lives did, and that even though much denial still exists in their posterity...the opportunity to face the truth has been offered because it has been spoken out loud and brought out of the shadows, lies, secrets and denial that have enabled it to infect each new generation. They know me...I know them. They can progress from where they are and so can I. We help each other. They matter and have great worth... and they help me finally know that I do too.
Please use edit function on memorial. I'm happy to add/correct info if requested with respect and kindness, include your source. You may use my headstone/cemetery photos.
I love this work, this website and volunteer a lot of my time here. I find that it has truly enhanced my professional genealogical research, as well. However, transfers have become a real issue, many Find A Grave friends are noticing the same thing. Most people are great when negotiating transfers, but too many are toxic. Due to demanding, disrespectful and vicious correspondence I now adhere strictly to Find A Grave transfer rules. Also, a transfer will not happen if you: Fail to state relationship: parent, sibling, grandparent, great-grandparent, children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren | have no profile | are a "collector" (harvesting with few contributions) | make demands | request on my public profile - please use edit function | create duplicate claiming you'll delete after transfer | or have been abusive in the past. You can add memorial to your virtual cemetery instead. Abuses will be reported with screenshot as proof. No exceptions. I'm sorry some create the need for these rules to exist. I'm grateful to those that know how to conduct themselves in an appropriate, kind and adult way. Let's keep in mind why and how this website exists.
Please remember I have 30 days to respond to requests, rarely taking longer than 24 hours. I've been entrusted with almost 2500 memorials from inactive, photo-only or fallen gravers, besides memorials I've added; so it takes time to maintain them all. Please be patient. Enjoy Find A Grave!
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|Messages left for AnnieDuckettHun... (415)||[Leave Message]|
Thank you so much for the transfer of my sister's memorial.
Added by Troth on Jul 26, 2014 12:12 PM
|Becca||RE: Mary M. Warner O'Rear Bentham|
I was just about to message you about that marriage record. =) Did you notice the age gap? Wow. I know it certainly wasn't unheard of, but 58 and 17 is quite a leap!
Thanks so much for the info/research. I love a good solved mystery!
Added by Becca on Jul 25, 2014 11:50 PM
|Becca||RE: Thank you!|
Thank you for the note; it's much appreciated. Like you, I like being able to link families here on the site, so I'm glad all the edits aren't annoying you too much.
I had a quick question about your edit for Mary Bentham's maiden name. I actually took a look at her marriage certificate (or at least a scan of it, I guess,) and her maiden name is listed as "O'Reor," although her parents are listed as James and Nancy Warner. I puzzled over it for a good long while and finally decided to go with the information the marriage certificate gave, thinking perhaps James might be a stepfather. I haven't been able to track that down for certain yet, though. Did you happen to run across a source giving her maiden name as "Warner?" If so, I'd love to know so I could solve this one for sure. (I'd also love to figure out who her fifteenth child was; I saw on her daughter Isabelle's memorial that you posted that Isabelle was said to be one of fifteen siblings, but I was only able to track down fourteen via census and cemetery records.)
Have a lovely weekend!
Added by Becca on Jul 25, 2014 8:21 PM
|Tennessee heritage||Joseph Henry Linford|
I looked for all the research I have done on Joseph Henry Linford yesterday, and the Linfitts, found quite a bit, but there is a lot. I'll work on what I can find. There is a family story that Joseph worked in the quartz mines in Nevada and that he died from inhalation of the quartz dust that he was exposed to while working there. Can't prove this yet, just a thought for you. My email is tnheritage@yahoo if you want to correspond.
|Tammy Hardy||Ethel Grimes Transfer|
Thank you for the transfer. This was something I didn't expect. You did a beautiful job.
|Linda Y||RE: Earl & Evelyn O'Conner|
We have completed taking Westeran Veterans cemetery in Missoula. We added some new entries. If you see any edits please send them. We live in Indiana. You do a great job on Find A Grave. Thx li da
Added by Linda Y on Jul 03, 2014 1:09 PM
|David Mower||RE: Elda Carolyn Stewart|
Thank you so much, Annie!
|LA Powers||RE: Nance|
I love it! This is what it is about.... helping one another find the information on our relatives!
|Star C. Pelton||William Elbert Crandell|
Mem# 120419139 was my mother's first husband and biological father to my two sisters. I would appreciate having him transferred to me so I may have that family together.
|LaRee White Engel||Ray Kinsey|
Hi little lady...could you transfer so my Granddaughter can sponsor. It's her grandfather....thanks
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