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Barry Waterfield (#47525109)
 member for 3 years, 5 months, 22 days
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I live in England. Not too far from London. I found this site by accident after a television broadcast featuring the crimes of John Gacy in America.I was once a professional musician working mainly in the theatre. Now I am becoming tired and old. I have posted tributes to Robert Piest and Gregory Godzik ( Gacy Victims ) sometimes under my own name and sometimes anonymously.I post anonymously when I want people to think more on a concept connected with the deceased than the person themselves. I have also paid tribute to Michael Llewellyn Davis of Peter Pan fame, Charles Dickens, Edith Nesbit, John Inman and Charles Kingsley plus many others. I am interested in the Esoteric and in the mystery that seems to surround our passing from this earth. In the 'What might have been' factor.I will reply to all mail.
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Messages left for Barry Waterfiel... (37)[Leave Message]
Hi Barry,

Thank you for your kind message, I really appreciated it and it made me think. You're right that I shouldn't let the fact that someone else is writing a book stop me from writing a book myself from my own point of view. I agree with your opinion, I have always thought that it isn't fair that the bad guys always get all the attention, as the victims were people too who had futures like anyone else.

I have seen many people connect with Robert even if they did not know him, for the fact that he was a brave boy who lost his life, but in turn shed light on the deaths of many others who lost their lives when they met Gacy. It is sad that the world lost a boy like Robert who had a good future, but he prevented the loss of many others. He is a brave soul. Sadly I never knew Robert personally (I am way too young), so I could not write a book that would have a deep emotional connection (like Guy, who knew Robert personally). I have always wanted to write a book about all of the Gacy victims, with a large portion dedicated to Robert. I am not sure how it would all work out, but you gave me inspiration and I feel more motivated to write now.

I have contacted Terry Sullivan before, asking about victims Billy Carroll and Darryl Samson since they have been on my mind for some time, and he did not have too much info on them. However, he has interacted with Robert's family more and I believe he would know more about him. He was an attorney on the Gacy case. I think you can always e-mail him for information, he was kind when I tried. I also am tempted to buy the Chicago Killer book by Kozenczak, and will contact him for more info, thanks for the tip. I read a preview of the book and was cut off short and would love to read more. I saw your review on Amazon, too! Kocenzak would be a good source of information.

I am not sure if you have ever read Buried Dreams by Tim Cahill before, but Russ Ewing, the reporter who provided information and the basis for the book, had personally reported on many of the missing boys who were Gacy's victims and felt a deep sadness when he found out what happened to them. They were like his own son because he had, in a way, grown so close to them after investigating their cases. It is understandable how Kozenczak felt about it. The case has affected many lives.

Thanks again for your kind words. You have a deep connection with Robert and I think that is something very special. I hope you are doing well. Feel free to correspond with me any time. I enjoy talking to others who have made emotional bonds with Robert and any other of Gacy's victims.

- Amy

Added by Beloved on Oct 07, 2014 6:52 PM
Cate O!Reilly
RE: Kenneth Piest
Hi Barry how kind of you to show your appreciation for commentsmon Dr. Peter. Unfortunately I have very limited abilities on computers. You most likely have much grater skills than myself. I would use the contact option. Ask the people that run site for assistance. There may be a forum run were you could post needing help with memorial.
Blessings to you and in you search.
Added by Cate O!Reilly on Sep 22, 2014 4:41 AM
RE: Bobby Driscol
Hi Barry! Nice of you to take the time out to write! I think your,or your group's, idea about making young child celebrity's aware of the fact that not everyone makes it but that doesn't mean they are any less of a person and they can still have a wonderful life.Jim Fisher posted a note about Bobby and, if you haven't already, I encourage you to contact him because he was a great fan of Bobby's and I think you both would have a lot to share. Once again Barry-All the best and Thanks for writing!
Added by Juliet on Sep 13, 2014 4:11 AM
Guy ********
RE: A book
Dear Barry,

I hope you (and Mr. Roo) are well and staying cool through the Summer heat.

I appreciate your thoughtful suggestion regarding my writing a book about Rob.

In the past, I've had experience in assisting others in writing their books, and I have outside resources to publish a book independently. But I will state clearly that any book written by me about Rob would only be acceptable to me as a not for profit venture. All proceeds from any such book would be given to charity...a youth oriented charity. I concur, a book (any good book) about Rob would be popular, but for now, I'm content to speak through this medium...and perhaps only this medium.

Until recently, I've been very private. A few years ago, the idea of posting my photo on the internet and going public about Rob would have been out of the question. ...And to have spoken of J. Gacy doubly unthinkable! But now, it's time to open up somewhat. It's true, for many years, among people who've known the victims, to speak of the perpetrator of these horrific crimes seemed almost an unholy act and a sacrilege. As for Gacy himself, we must leave him to the Universal Divine Process.

Frankly, when you consider the "life review" that everyone is to have upon passing from this world, maybe when J. Gacy passed, the Divine Process allowed his life review to consist of experiencing the deaths of each and every one of his victims in the first person and in real time...dying in total, not once, but 33/34 times. I would consider that to be Divine justice/wisdom and Divinity's benevolent genius in awakening the perpetrator to the lost ways of his evil while simultaneously allowing him the opportunity (like all good Souls of positive energy) to eventually come to the natural, exalted state of Love and Godliness. I don't subscribe to the concept of eternal damnation, but rather to universal, unconditional compassion and opportunity for redemption. However, for the duration, one will suffer according to one's deeds. I think that salvation, and ultimately, Spiritual enlightenment is open to everyone...including Mr. Gacy...perhaps after many karma-directed incarnations. If 'God' is Love, then 'God' is ultimately all-inclusive. I think that Universal love applies to every Soul universally. Meanwhile, the Human Soul and life in this rough and tumble world is in process of evolution in every sense and at every level of energy, while the Divine is ever complete and perfect.

These past four days my mother has been sick with fever and I have been shuttling from my house to hers, taking her to hospital on Friday at 5 pm, returning her home, administering meds etc. and staying the night with her all the while. Actually, I've been visiting with her (in her wellness) in this fashion for the past six months, and more than half the time staying the night at her house. It's been a privilege! Ordinarily, my octogenarian mother has no need of meds of any kind. Though she has arthritis, (and needs my occasional assistance) she prefers to keep meds to a bare minimum and her independence to a maximum.


Stay cool and air conditioned...

Take care and be well,


Added by Guy ******** on Jul 26, 2014 5:19 PM
Guy ********
RE: The Greater Mysterie
Dear Barry,

I was away for part of the weekend, and when my schedule is full, I tend not to check email until I return home and have settled in. With such scheduling, there may tend to be a lull in my response.

I am not ill... My senses tell me that I'm in the best shape of my life! Since High School, (By Junior year) I've stood at six feet tall and continue to weigh in at 185 healthy pounds. Now, only with 7% body fat.

To reiterate, I greatly appreciate your thoughts and sentiments. Before writing this, I took a review of what contributors to Rob's site have written over the years--going back to August of 2001. I can't adequately put into words how deeply moved I am, except to say that I am moved to an awesome depth to where it hurts and my heart aches.

Your description of Alister Cook's program (I well recall him from his years as host of Masterpiece Theater) - "A Letter from America" reminds me of my original intent when coming to Rob's site. ...And that intention is to inform the good Souls--who have left flowers for Rob--about his life as I knew him, before (and sometimes beyond) tragedy. I want people to know of his lifetime and about the wonderful, beautiful ways of his character, personality and Soul.

As it turns out, this site does serve as a record for a good number of least ten years.

Over the last month, I've been considering talking about our (Rob's and my) teachers, and about our school days, events and various activities together etc. It's just a matter of making the time and having the peace and quiet to do so. My memory is sharp as a the point actually that I seem to function above time...with a thought, I am transported to 'then' and 'there'. In a recent conversation with my Mom, I gave her a detailed description of an event (and of the people involved) when I was three years old. I also gave a detailed description of the house, its floor plan, structural design and how it was decorated...colors, paintings, fireplaces and furniture placement, etc. My mother was amazed, because it happened 49 years ago and that I had only been there on that one occasion. I say this because I want to emphasize that I remember every event, name and significant (and not so significant) person in my life. It's truly wonderful and it inspires me and my love for life to no end! No matter how much suffering I have endured in life, my enthusiasm for life always comes rolling back!

I can't say for how long I will contribute to Rob's site, but I can say that I will do my utter best to make good on my original intent...with the greatest of respect and love for he deserves no less!

Added by Guy ******** on Jul 20, 2014 3:19 PM
Guy ********
RE: Postings
Dear Barry,

I greatly appreciate the thoughtful sentiments that you've expressed throughout your reply and very much appreciate your kind regards toward me. Your thoughts about Rob's passing are well stated...yet there is mystery beyond all reckoning!

Rob did have a girlfriend. The last time I saw and spoke with him, he was sitting in the Maine West cafeteria with her and another attractive girl...a friend of his girlfriend.

I've come a long way since the declaration of my 'bilateral' sensibilities in High School. In addition to becoming wise to the ways of (earthly) human bonds, I have become wise enough to have freedom OF and freedom FROM those bonds. I've gone the way of peace, meditation and contemplation. Some folks sometimes call me 'the Zen Monk'. Zen is a small, but significant part of a much greater whole for me. Our existence has far more to it than any one spiritual tradition or school of thought can fully fathom or be sure!

As I know that everyone's time is limited in this life, and as my life is entering into a period of great transition in every respect, I want what I intend to post about Rob and our youth together to become a part of the record of this site. It can span only so far and for only so long. My visit to this site is but a sojourn. Therefore, I intend it to be significant to Rob's memory and Spirit...and then I shall let go...leaving it behind to gradually fade into the farther points of this site as the various tributes to Rob continue to slowly roll in. After this, (with some tearful measure of sorrow and some tearful measure of joy) for however long or short, I intend to move on full blast into the remainder of my earthly, Spiritual journey.....

I want to mention that I've met J. Gacy's attorney, Sam Amirante. He was the presiding judge in a small case involving a friend of mine. Mr. Amirante is a most engaging, upbeat personality...very jovial, high-spirited and very warmly Italian-American! (Rob and I have some significant Italian heritage through our mothers.)
Sam Amirante has returned to practicing as an attorney after a number of years on the bench. My friend continues to occasionally seek his council. Fortunately, I've had no need of Mr. Amirante's council, nor have I had occasion to discuss Rob or his infamous client with him.....To be sure, that would be a most engrossing conversation!

Added by Guy ******** on Jul 18, 2014 8:00 PM
Guy ********
Dear Barry,

I want to comment that some of the tributes I post are intended only for a short term and are slated for future deletion. My tribute of 29th June was one such due to its reference to a declaration I made in High School. I thought you'd appreciate and understand it. I'm sure you understand that there are the potential sensitivities of certain others to consider with such a posting. ...And with that consideration in mind, I prefer that Rob's memorial be one always of peace, not controversy. Also, I want to note that I thoroughly appreciated your now deleted post of 2nd of July.

I hope you are well and in better spirits since your last email. Have you read any further in that book - "The Chicago Killer"? Even for the most Spiritually advanced person, to read such material would be an unhappy venture. one must be careful/mindful in such ventures, after all, one cannot ever expect to find the Light by making a study of the darkness.

God Bless,

Added by Guy ******** on Jul 15, 2014 5:02 PM
Guy ********
Re: A strange experience
Hello Barry,

It's nice to hear from you. I hope that the Summer season finds you well and healthy.

In response to your question, I have precognitive experiences regularly and can tell you that your dream was a psychic experience of a precognitive nature relating to the details outlined in the online book preview of "Chicago Killer". It probably crossed with your memory of what I wrote to Rob on the 9th of February where I speak of the Mid-western mentioned that your dream was set in Autumn.

You are very sensitive and retain a complex mix of details and images about Rob and his suffering. The subconscious/preconscious, and the cognitive and precognitive dream states can certainly make for a challenge in decipherment.

Also, your dream description of the American classroom is accurate...there were those awful artificial, fluorescent lights that shined glaringly overhead. I loathed them! On warm, sunny days I yearned to be outdoors and would sometimes ask the more adventuresome teachers to conduct lessons outside...they'd sometimes oblige.

To this day, I don't like artificial lighting on bright, sunny days.

We'll be in touch...



Added by Guy ******** on Jun 09, 2014 3:49 PM
Guy ********
RE: Karma Again...
In reference to that passage, simply put, it means that evil is everywhere within this life, and that encountering it is (mostly) unavoidable. Furthermore, upon encountering evil, there are earthly consequences to the one who suffers at its hands, and Karmic consequences to the doer of the evil.

Other Lives - According to many schools of thought, we are not necessarily bound to reincarnation, (the Buddhists think we are) but we have it as an option. It is said that the best and quickest way to enlightenment is through the terrestrial route. I can go on about that a length but will spare it/Spirit. Einstein believed this to be a strange world, (it is, thus far) but I say that this world is in the making, we are evolving/awakening while it develops and we as yet do not know the full story. So, in the face of this strange world of suffering and pain, we must endeavor to realize that there are many ways toward suffering's end. In the process, we must endeavor toward optimism with the understanding that in our recognition that matter is energy, and that many higher levels of energy exist in reality, we can come to realize that by changing energy, miracles occur. Thought is energy! After many years of endeavoring, I have come to the point where I routinely manifest what I think about. Needless to say, I am very careful what I think about and about how and where I focus my attention. Where the attention goes the energy flows (if you get my drift.). In defiance of Einstein's theory, thought travels faster than the speed of light. Here's where I focus much attention.

The Order of Mind or Psychic Law speaks to the order of the processes of consciousness, arising consciousness and perishing of ego, constituents of consciousness, power of mindfulness - including telepathy, retro-cognition, premonition, clairvoyance, clairaudience, thought reading and other such psychic phenomena which are inexplicable to science. But science is getting on board, it's inevitable! I daily experience these phenomena and I am respectful and mindful of others in the process.

Back to Karma - Along with how an individual's present actions and choices impact his Karma, there is also the individual's own particular level of consciousness/awareness itself that is equal (if not greater) in determining how that individual's life is orchestrated and on what type of reality/realities will manifest for him/her.

Barry, I empathize with your protestations to the Buddhist concept of reincarnation. From the age of seven (the age of reason) I was depressed about the state of the world, the conflict of the masses of unenlightened peoples/nations, (Vietnam! etc) the awful, selfish, unmindful conflicts between individuals etc. etc. I was not happy to be here, but I have spent my life endeavoring to hurdle those mountains. I have triumphantly ground many of those mountains to dust. I do not despair, I triumph!

This particular day's activities did not do well in the way of rest, and that's okay, I did what I wanted to do. I am still a bit zonked, but I will use the next day for rest and fully expect to refuel, retool, and reboot! Alpha, Theta, Delta and Gamma brain waves to the rescue!

Added by Guy ******** on May 04, 2014 7:45 PM
Guy ********

The question of Karma is one that demands a deep and lengthy answer. It can be confusing.

There is a sort of pop-culture consensus as to what Karma is. The answer as to Karma is not an easy one. Karma does not necessarily mean past actions. It embraces both past and present deeds. Hence in one sense, we are the result of what we were; we will be the result of what we are. In another sense, it should be added, we are not totally the result of what we were and we will not absolutely be the result of what we are.

The present is no doubt the offspring of the past and is the present of the future, but the present is not always a true index of either the past or the future; so complex is the working of Karma.

Karma is the order of action and result, Example: Desirable and undesirable acts produce good and bad results. As surely does water seek its own level, so does Karma...given opportunity, produce its inevitable result, not in the form of a reward or punishment but as an innate sequence. This sequence of deed and effect is as natural and necessary as the way of the stars and planets.

If anyone says that a man or a woman must reap in this life according to his or her present deeds, in that case there is no spiritual life, nor is an opportunity afforded for the entire extinction of sorrow. But if anyone says that a man or a woman reaps in this and future lives accords with his or her deeds present or past, in that case there is a spiritual life, and an opportunity is afforded for the entire extinction of sorrow.

There is the Buddhist saying, "not in the sky, nor in mid-ocean, or entering a mountain cave is found that place on earth where one may escape from an evil deed or the consequences thereof." Yet, because of free will, one is not naturally bound to pay all the past arrears of one's Karma. For individuals of that case, emancipation is an impossibility. Eternal recurrence would be the unfortunate result.

I'm not concerned (worried) for Rob's Karma, we are not inanimate objects, nor are we permanently fixed entities, we are in constant, generative flux, and we have the broadest range of options and possibilities afforded to us by universal laws. Moment by moment we are never quite the same person twice, but we do carry some Karmic baggage until we break all ties to samsara and 'achieve' nirvana. Such are the Buddhist beliefs. There is not one spiritual tradition that has all the answers, I know this, consciousness is a mighty mysterious business...and the (relatively small) astounding, miraculous glimpses that I have witnessed are monumentally inspiring. With that I say: Let the lessons and awakening continue.

You've mentioned the effect that Rob has had on women, I have seen the evidence for this at his mausoleum. There are lipstick kisses all over the front of it. In nearly 36 years, I have only been there a half dozen times...starting in October of 2010. I first read the book Killer Clown in 1984 and a second time in March of 2009. It took me 19 months to visit Rob's tomb thereafter. But each time I have gone there I have had a remarkable psychic / Spiritual experience.

I hope that I wrote lucidly enough at all within these past 24 hours, as I've had only three hours sleep within the past 24 hours, and though I'm holding up well, I think it best to sign off now. Cheerio! ~ Guy
Added by Guy ******** on May 03, 2014 10:42 PM
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