|Birth: ||Jan. 25, 1992|
|Death: ||Apr. 9, 2006|
Anne Arundel County
~ This is a long tribute to Shelby because I couldn't just say a few things about her. She was too special. But down the bottom is 2 poems. One I wrote for Shelby and the other is something every pet owner should read. Thanks for visiting~
Shelby was more then just a pet. She was my baby. I bought Shelby with my own money. All my life I had been raised with dogs. My Mom was a big dog lover and always had more then one dog. But they were her dogs. So when I got my own place I decided to buy my first dog. I remember my Mom waking me up early one Saturday morning telling me there was a cocker spaniel in the paper for sale for $75.00. I woke my fiance and told him I would be right back. I was going to get a dog. Mom and I went to the bank and I got out my money. She had called the people ahead of time and told them we would be out to look at the dog.
My first peek at Shelby will stay in my mind forever. All I saw was this little blonde ball of fur running in the back yard. My son Justin who was 6 at the time ran outside and fell to his knees and called out to her. She saw him and went running over to him. But she tripped on her own ears and rolled down the hill. She popped right back up and ran to him and started kissing him. I knew at that moment I found my dog. I was in love.
Shelby instantly became family. She was all paws and ears until she grew into them. Her hair was blonde and curly and she had these beautiful brown eyes. All she knew how to do was love everyone. She was spoiled rotten and followed me around constantly. I found out I was pregnant with my son Cody about a month after I got Shelby and I was worried how she would react to him. I didn't have to worry long. When we brought him home she would sleep under his cradle and follow me around while I was holding him. She loved him dearly.
When Shelby was a puppy I use to tease her by singing Patsy Clines song "Crazy" in the worst voice possible. It would drive Shelby insane. She would run around the house barking and trying to get me to stop. She would howl along with me then nip at my chin. It was hysterical. Shelby was a little bit delusional too. For some reason she thought she was a Pitbull or Great Dane. We would take her for walks and she would see the biggest dog there was and go crazy, barking and growling and acting like she was all bad. Nevermind these dogs could eat her in one bite. That was my Shelby.
As she got older she still acted like a puppy. She followed me from room to room and slept with me every night. If I went somewhere she would hear the car pull up and we could hear her barking from outside. Sometimes she would sit on my sons bed and look out the window.
The one things we use to tease Shelby about was her appetite. The dog always wanted to eat. No matter how bad she felt she would eat. Even in her old age when she had cataracts and her hearing was bad there was nothing wrong with her nose. She'd be upstairs and would smell something cooking downstairs in the kitchen. Her favorite thing was peanut butter. She loved peanut butter treats and cookies and her all time favorite food was ice cream. We would buy the little kiddie cups and she would get them once in awhile as a special treat. She loved them.
Shelby had a very special bond with my Mom who lived with us. That was her Grandma. The one to feed her under the table and give her sweets to eat. They were in cohoots together. After Mom died my brother Bruce took over as the secret feeder. We have a Christmas video that shows Bruce in the background feeding Shelby under the table. He was caught red handed...lol When Bruce died the torch was passed to Kim, my best friend. Shelby loved Kim to death. She would walk in the door and Shelby would run around the room jumping on furniture and crying. We would sit at the kitchen table and drink coffee and eat and Shelby would rest her little chin on our knees and just look up at us so pitiful. She was so dramatic. Kim would slip her a treat or two so Shelby knew which side of the table to sit on...lol
Shelby was a Daddy's girl. When I married my second husband Nick she became the Princess. He bought her ice cream from Friendly's and a little black sweater with a leopard print collar. When he worked part time at a pizza place he would bring home pizza and give her the crust. Shelby loved pizza. When her paws got really fluffy he would grab her little paw and tell her she had "Puddy Feet". She DID NOT like to have her feet touched...lol He also called her "Daddy's Little Durl" Baby talk for his baby girl.
I knew Shelby wouldn't be around forever and we had several close calls. But I was totally unprepared for it to happen so fast. She wasn't feeling good that weekend and on Sunday was really feeling bad. I had promised my kids I would take them to the movies but I didn't want to leave her. I knew something was seriously wrong because she wouldn't eat. It was a Sunday and her vet was closed. She slept most of the day so my husband convinced me to take the kids to the movies and he would take care of her. So I did. We agreed to take her to her vet first thing Monday morning.
On my way back from the movies I called home. I asked how she was and my husband said he had the phone book out looking for emergency vets. I knew it was serious. My cell phone lost signal and I didn't call him back because I knew. We got to the house and I walked right in and went up to her. She looked at me and I kissed her and hugged her and told her how much we loved her and didn't want her to suffer. I told her she could go home now. Meanwhile Nick had found a vet and we started to hurry up and get ready to take her.
As we were getting ready to go Nick went and picked her up and turned to me crying and said "Babe, she's gone. I'm so sorry." I remember screaming no over and over again. All I wanted to do was hold her. I sat on the couch and held her in my arms for an hour. I told her repeatly how much we loved her. Her little paws were crossed and and she looked like she was asleep. She looked at peace. I am glad she died at home on her couch with her family there. Not in some vets office on a cold steel table.
We cleaned her up and wrapped her in a blanket and took her to the vet to be cremated. Nick carried her to the car and placed her in my arms. I continued to talk to her and love her until we got there. Nick came around the side of the truck and was going to carry her in. I told him no. I carried her when I brought her home and I would carry her on her final path. We took her in a room and said our good byes. I have never felt such pain as when I walked out of that room and left my baby behind. I also left a piece of my heart.
Since I have been home it's been so hard. I see her everywhere. When I got up this morning I swore I felt her at the foot of the bed. When I fed the baby breakfast I started to put his leftovers in her bowl that was no longer there. At dinner I told the boys to save their pizza crust for Shelby.
I know Shelby is with my Mom. But I miss her so bad I just want to fast forward my life to the spot where everyone says it will get better. My heart aches and sometimes I can't breathe. Will I ever get another dog? I don't know. Shelby was one of a kind. It will take me a long time to get past this initial hurt and grief. Right now I just want to remember everything about her.
Please stop and look at some of the pictures of my baby girl. Leave a flower or a note. It helps knowing other people care. If it weren't for my friend and family and all the wonderful friends I have made through The Flower of Love group I don't know how I would have gotten through this. They have been a constant source of comfort. Thank you all so much.
** When we left the Vets office they gave us a Grief package. Inside was a poem. I would like to share it with you. I also wrote a poem called Shelby Girl.
I hope you like it**
If It Should Be
If it be I grow frail and weak,
And pain should wake me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.
You will be sad, I'll understand,
Don't let your grief then stay your hand,
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship stand the test.
We've had so many happy years,
What is to come will hold no fears,
You'll not want me to suffer, so,
When the time comes, please let me go.
I know in time, you too will see,
It is a kindness you do me,
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering, I've been saved.
Do not grieve that it should be you,
Who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
The first time that I saw you,
You were running down a hill,
You tripped on your big ol' ears,
And took a nasty spill.
You jumped back up and ran to Justin,
Kissing him with glee.
And I knew from that moment on,
That you belonged to me.
Your soft blonde hair so curly,
You beautiful eyes so brown.
I held you almost all the time,
Not wanting to put you down.
You'd follow me from room to room,
Sticking by me through the years.
And through my losses when I was sad,
You lick away my tears.
You were sweet and kind and gentle.
You loved on everyone.
When Daddy use to play with you,
You'd jump around and run.
But as the years pressed forward,
Your blonde hair turned to gray.
Yet you still acted like a puppy.
Until that fateful day.
I watched with pain in my heart,
As your beautiful eyes grew dim.
I knew that soon I'd lose my girl,
You would cross to be with Him.
I knew that you'd be free of pain.
Up in Heaven you would roam.
You would also be with Grandma.
But I still wanted you home.
I couldn't watch you suffer,
From this nightmare I wanted to wake.
Then in a moment you were gone,
And I felt my heart just break.
I held you very gently,
And kept saying 'I Love You."
You looked like you were sleeping.
As my tears rolled down on you.
The time had come to let you go,
As I tenderly gave you a kiss.
I'll love you always Shelby girl.
Forever you'll be missed.
I love you Shelby,
On Shelby's first angel day I wrote the following poem.
~ On Shelby's First Angel Day ~
It was a year ago today GOD took my Shelby home.
She crossed over Rainbow Bridge and forever she would roam.
He saw her getting tired, he saw that she was weak.
She didn't want to play no more, she didn't want to eat.
She laid upon the couch that day with Daddy by her side,
She heard Jesus come for her to take that final ride.
But she wasn't ready to go yet, she couldn't leave just now.
She asked Jesus if they could wait for just a little while.
Jesus looked at Shelby, through his gentle eyes,
And asked one simple single word in a whisper "Why?"
"Because I haven't said goodbye to the one that I love best,
I just can't leave her Jesus and take that final breath."
"I have to let her know, that I will be alright,
She depends on me when she goes to sleep at night."
She feeds me and she loves me and she calls me her little girl,
If I leave before she gets here it will tear apart her world."
Jesus smiled at Shelby and said that they would stay.
Until her Mommy got there, they wouldn't go away.
Suddenly Shelby heard a noise and felt that familiar touch,
And there before her very eyes was the Mommy she loved so much.
As Mommy hugged and kissed her, her tears fell on her fur,
Shelby's breathing grew shallow as her Mommy held onto her.
Mommy's heart was breaking, she kept crying "No."
As Jesus gently said to Shelby "Now it's time to go."
Mommy & Daddy were running around to take her to the vet.
He would make their Shelby better it wasn't over yet.
But as Daddy picked his princess up, his heart just broke in two,
It had gotten very quiet and suddenly he knew.
"She's gone." he cried to Mommy and she screamed and hit the floor,
She'd never see her Shelby running to her anymore.
She sat upon the couch and held her little girl,
She rocked her and she kissed her and rubbed her golden fur.
Shelby walked with Jesus, her head hung way down low.
She wanted to be with Mommy, she didn't want to go.
Jesus sat next to Shelby, and gently rubbed her head,
He looked into her deep brown eyes and this is what he said.
"Your Mommy will be okay, she'll always hold you dear,
In memories, in pictures, you will always be near.
And as you cross Rainbow Bridge open up your eyes.
For you will see somethingwonderful there and you will be surprised."
So with a heavy heart, she crossed into the light,
And when she did she saw the most amazing sight.
"Grandma" Shelby barked with joy, "What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you my Shelby Girl." said Grandma with a tear.
Then Shelby saw her Uncle Bruce much to her delight,
He was standing with Grandma in the golden light.
"Mommy's hurting Grandma, She's really hurting bad,
I don't like seeing Mommy cry and being really sad."
"Well don't worry Shelby Girl, Mommy will be okay,
We can watch her right from here every single day.
Then one day when it's time, we'll walk that path together,
And you will see your Mommy again and be with her forever."
Written by; Traci Nicklas
Specifically: Ashes at home with Mommy.
Created by: ~Live~Laugh~Love~
Record added: Apr 10, 2006
Find A Grave Memorial# 13912865