Michael,worked for the late Roy Orbison. He was a gifted Song Writer and he loved sailing. His wishes were to be cremated and dropped off the shores of his love, (Key West) by his best friend Tommy Head, "of Punta Gorda, Florida." He took Michael's ashes during "October Fest," and left a little bit of him scattered in various places in Key West. Tommy took Michael's ashes with some of his Floridian friends on the oldest, last big built sail boat in Key West, and at sunset Michael was put in the water, while the "conch shell," was blown to the four corners of the earth. The Captain wrote down the latitude & longitude of where Michael was put in the water. The boat is The Schooner Western Union..www.schoonerwesternunion.com
He had wanted a Hawaiian Lai dropped in the water, but they could not find one. One day I hope to go to that spot and do as he requested.
Part of his ashes were scattered at his request over his late father's and his nephew and grand parents graves, James Murphy, Arthur Lee and Maggie Lee Murphy and James R. Levy Jr.
Michael was married to Charlene Botelho in 1973 for five years and would have had two children, but a miscarriage & ectopical pregnancy, changed that & the marriage disolved & they remained friends. He never married again. But he loved children & was a "GREAT," uncle and to all little children. He loved children. He was a big child himself.
Michael was born in Nashville Tennessee and died in Gallatin Tennessee, from a massive heart attack due to neglegence of 3 different medical facilities.And a doctor who went againt my orders not to give him a medication, and he gave it to him anyway.
My brother, Michael was 14 months older than me and he was like my twin. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. We walked hand in hand all of his life and was so heart broken, to have lost our nephew in 2000. None of us have ever gotten over that death.
Michael was one of a kind with a great sense of humor and never met a stranger. It's a shame such a brillant mind & life was cut short so quick, but Michael was ready to go.He was tired of loosing the ones that he loved & he dreaded the upcoming loss of our mother. She died 11 months after Michael.
Michael was more than just my brother. He was my soul mate. You don't have to be married to some one to be soul mates. We were born 22 months to the day apart, and we were more like twins, and very close. His death left a vacant place in me, that no one else on earth can fill. He was full of life and fun, and we always had the best times together. When he died and I found his "Last Will And Testament," he told me not to cry, because he had gone on an adventure, to a place where he could be normal, because he didn't fit into this world. He told me that he loved me more than Space! I miss him more than space! Michael suffered with bipolar disorder, that got worse as he got older. I do blame Michael's death on several doctors who neglected to do their jobs properly. They killed my brother. But Michael was slowly killing himself too, because he could get no relief. He didn't want to be here to see my mother die, so God took him away from here by using a doctor's neglegence to do so. He's free now, and he fits in, and I hope that he is sailing on a big ship in heaven and is dressed in a white Captains suit.
1st.Cor. 13-1-13
Michael's lucky number was 13.
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE.
I love you Michael, my brother, my friend, my soul mate.
Michael,
My dear, brother, my twin, my soul mate.
How can I ever begin to tell you how much I miss you & your life?
I never thought that I'd not have you around, in my life.
It was never supposed to be this way. You were supposed to be here with me
when we got old.
I keep thinking how much happier you must be where you are, but it doesn't make me happy, that you have left, only happy in the hopes that you are happy where
you are, and there is no more Bipolar, no more of you feeling that you don't fit in.
No more of you feeling worthless, or being depressed. I can just see that infectious smile of yours and that's what I miss.
Michael, I felt you near me today & I heard you speak & it made me cry, and though I felt you, you were not alone I feel. Were there angels with you today?
There was so much love & sweetness in the room.
I just keep wishing that I could take back the harsh words, that I said to you the night before you died. If I ever thought that what I said to you, made you feel that I'd be better off with out you, you were way from the truth. I just hope that you didn't realize what the doctor had given you & you just left as God wanted you to and not by your own hand. If prayers can buy you pardon with God, I have not said enough, but if it takes the rest of my life to pray them, to be in a place with you, when my time comes I want to say mountains of prayers. I want to fly through the heavens with you, holding my hand as we did when we were just children. Always together and never far apart. There is an emptiness that I can not fill. Your absence is almost so painful, that I wish we had gone together & though I love people here on this earth, I think I could walk away just to be with you and momma & daddy. I know that my time will come soon one day, & I just am having a very hard time down here, missing you.
I listened to the words to, "Wind Beneath My Wings." today, and I thought about you & daddy. The relationship that you had that always seemed to over power me. But when I listened to the words to that song, all I could hear was you telling me to listen, and that is how you really felt. That you knew I was just "little me." But to you I was your hero. You were mine.
Michael, I will never forget ALL of our talks, and the fun that we had going places together, you singing out of key, and me just grinning from ear to ear. You were just bigger than life.
I miss hearing you say; " I just love you." Or the compliments that you always made about what I was wearing. Not many brothers would even bother. I'd give so many days just to feel those big ole arms wrapped around me, with one of your big hugs. I miss that most of all, or me putting my head on your shoulder when you would be so depressed & want to just leave us. I hurt inside for you & I didn't know how to help you and at times I feel, like I didn't try hard enough. Or I should not have ever called the clinic and asked, that they not give you any more narcotics & then they gave you that stuff that killed you. I still blame myself for ever calling them. Because it put your life and destiny in my hands, and that's why I just can't live! Because I feel that maybe you thought, "If I am causing her that much grief, I might as well just go." I was just tired Michael. I never meant the things that I said and I know that you didn't either.
I miss going sailing with you and I often look up on a day, when the breeze blows & I smile, and say out loud, "it's a good day to sail."
You know what Michael? My therapist told me that, as many people as he had met in counseling, he never had met any body, who were brother and sister, as close as we were. I feel God blessed us, by putting us together in this life, to let us grow up together. I would have loved to have seen your little face, when I was born and you pulled me off the bed to get a better look. Was I your baby at that moment? Or did you talk to me, and dream of me while I was still resting & growing inside our dear sweet mother. Are you with her now? Is daddy there and Bobby? Are you there with, our precious one? What a hard thing it was on all of us to loose him.
Whenever I was in trouble or scared, it was you that I always turned to. Thank you, Michael, for being my brother. I could not have had a better brother. Even though you pulled my braids and cut them off & all of the other pranks, that you pulled on me as kids, I still laugh about them. I never really got mad about them. You could charm the skin off of a snake! There was always this trust, that no matter what, I would be safe! I always was.
I remember the conversation that we had when you drove me to Knoxville that time. When, I told you to be careful driving back & that you should stay. You told me if you died that you would die happy, because you had done a lot of things that no one else would ever get to do. If you could have died happy, that night, I don't dare say it.
I know how miserable your life had become & I always loved you and kept trying to save you, but I just didn't know how! Was I suppose to? If I was and didn't please forgive me.
By the way, I found your water color painting when I was cleaning out your room, that you signed "Ice Pick Willie," and I just cracked up laughing, and thought, about you doing that knowing that I'd find it and laugh. That I would know what it meant.
You told me in your Will, to not cry for you, and trust in God, that he has taken you to a happier place and that you were going on an adventure. That, you loved me, more than space itself. How blessed I was to have you in my life. How sad & broken hearted I am that you left me behind. You told me that you didn't know what you'd do if anything ever happened to me. I am glad that it wasn't me, but not because I am here, but that I am here to live with the pain & emptiness, that not having you in my life has left me. I would not want you to feel this. I don't think you could have dealt with it, because I barely can.
People say, "it will get better as time goes by." They are all just fooling themselves, but not me. I know that for the rest of my life, that until I see you again, that my heart will always feel half here, because you took the other half with you, when God took you away. You told me that He was going to. But you never told me how you knew. That was selfish.
Michael, I am going to finish your stories & I have saved all of your letters that you wrote to me, and though they make me sad & happy at the same time, I will read them from time to time. I kept your Hawaiian shirts, your Roy Orbison jacket, & your animal print jacket. I kept your little lantern & I made a little basket with your picture in it with rose petals & crystals and charms of saints. Mary stands with hands folded praying for you always. The rosary that I had in my car, the night before you died is in that basket, & I still have not found the little metal of Jesus, that went missing after you held in your fingers.
Although we are not Catholic, and our ancestors of old were, you know how I was drawn to the mystery of the rosary & St. Bernadette!
I know at times, that you felt God had abandoned you, but He didn't. You know that now. I don't know why your life down here had to be so hard, but I am also hoping that now you know.
Were you there when mother came up there? Did Jimmy & I do a good job with that? It was hard taking care of her, because we got tired. Jimmy & I both realized too late how much, you had to do & how it was way too much on you, and I am so very sorry. No matter what you told me, it just didn't sink in. For that I ask you for forgiveness too.
Please keep coming in my dreams. If I cry don't worry, it's just because I miss you so.
I love you, Michael. More than space!
You're little sister,
Sandra
This Song Was Sung At Michael's Funeral. He saw David Phelps and met him 8 months before he died. He listened to this song alot. If you have never heard it, do your self a favor and listen to it.
MY WEBSITE
http://reocities.com/MadisonAvenue/6264/index.html
No More Night
The timeless theme, earth and
heaven will pass away. It's not a
dream, God will make all things
new that day. Gone is the curse
from which I stumbled and fell.
Evil is banished to eternal hell.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
See all around, now the nations
bow down to sing. The only
sound is the praises to Christ,
our King. Slowly the names from
the book are read. I know the
King, so there's no need to dread.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
See over there, there's a mansion,
oh that's prepared just for me,
where I will live with my savior
eternally.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
All praises to the great "I AM."
We're gonna live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
by David Phelps ©
Sandy's Website
http://reocities.com/MadisonAvenue/6264/index.html
He had wanted a Hawaiian Lai dropped in the water, but they could not find one. One day I hope to go to that spot and do as he requested.
Part of his ashes were scattered at his request over his late father's and his nephew and grand parents graves, James Murphy, Arthur Lee and Maggie Lee Murphy and James R. Levy Jr.
Michael was married to Charlene Botelho in 1973 for five years and would have had two children, but a miscarriage & ectopical pregnancy, changed that & the marriage disolved & they remained friends. He never married again. But he loved children & was a "GREAT," uncle and to all little children. He loved children. He was a big child himself.
Michael was born in Nashville Tennessee and died in Gallatin Tennessee, from a massive heart attack due to neglegence of 3 different medical facilities.And a doctor who went againt my orders not to give him a medication, and he gave it to him anyway.
My brother, Michael was 14 months older than me and he was like my twin. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. We walked hand in hand all of his life and was so heart broken, to have lost our nephew in 2000. None of us have ever gotten over that death.
Michael was one of a kind with a great sense of humor and never met a stranger. It's a shame such a brillant mind & life was cut short so quick, but Michael was ready to go.He was tired of loosing the ones that he loved & he dreaded the upcoming loss of our mother. She died 11 months after Michael.
Michael was more than just my brother. He was my soul mate. You don't have to be married to some one to be soul mates. We were born 22 months to the day apart, and we were more like twins, and very close. His death left a vacant place in me, that no one else on earth can fill. He was full of life and fun, and we always had the best times together. When he died and I found his "Last Will And Testament," he told me not to cry, because he had gone on an adventure, to a place where he could be normal, because he didn't fit into this world. He told me that he loved me more than Space! I miss him more than space! Michael suffered with bipolar disorder, that got worse as he got older. I do blame Michael's death on several doctors who neglected to do their jobs properly. They killed my brother. But Michael was slowly killing himself too, because he could get no relief. He didn't want to be here to see my mother die, so God took him away from here by using a doctor's neglegence to do so. He's free now, and he fits in, and I hope that he is sailing on a big ship in heaven and is dressed in a white Captains suit.
1st.Cor. 13-1-13
Michael's lucky number was 13.
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE.
I love you Michael, my brother, my friend, my soul mate.
Michael,
My dear, brother, my twin, my soul mate.
How can I ever begin to tell you how much I miss you & your life?
I never thought that I'd not have you around, in my life.
It was never supposed to be this way. You were supposed to be here with me
when we got old.
I keep thinking how much happier you must be where you are, but it doesn't make me happy, that you have left, only happy in the hopes that you are happy where
you are, and there is no more Bipolar, no more of you feeling that you don't fit in.
No more of you feeling worthless, or being depressed. I can just see that infectious smile of yours and that's what I miss.
Michael, I felt you near me today & I heard you speak & it made me cry, and though I felt you, you were not alone I feel. Were there angels with you today?
There was so much love & sweetness in the room.
I just keep wishing that I could take back the harsh words, that I said to you the night before you died. If I ever thought that what I said to you, made you feel that I'd be better off with out you, you were way from the truth. I just hope that you didn't realize what the doctor had given you & you just left as God wanted you to and not by your own hand. If prayers can buy you pardon with God, I have not said enough, but if it takes the rest of my life to pray them, to be in a place with you, when my time comes I want to say mountains of prayers. I want to fly through the heavens with you, holding my hand as we did when we were just children. Always together and never far apart. There is an emptiness that I can not fill. Your absence is almost so painful, that I wish we had gone together & though I love people here on this earth, I think I could walk away just to be with you and momma & daddy. I know that my time will come soon one day, & I just am having a very hard time down here, missing you.
I listened to the words to, "Wind Beneath My Wings." today, and I thought about you & daddy. The relationship that you had that always seemed to over power me. But when I listened to the words to that song, all I could hear was you telling me to listen, and that is how you really felt. That you knew I was just "little me." But to you I was your hero. You were mine.
Michael, I will never forget ALL of our talks, and the fun that we had going places together, you singing out of key, and me just grinning from ear to ear. You were just bigger than life.
I miss hearing you say; " I just love you." Or the compliments that you always made about what I was wearing. Not many brothers would even bother. I'd give so many days just to feel those big ole arms wrapped around me, with one of your big hugs. I miss that most of all, or me putting my head on your shoulder when you would be so depressed & want to just leave us. I hurt inside for you & I didn't know how to help you and at times I feel, like I didn't try hard enough. Or I should not have ever called the clinic and asked, that they not give you any more narcotics & then they gave you that stuff that killed you. I still blame myself for ever calling them. Because it put your life and destiny in my hands, and that's why I just can't live! Because I feel that maybe you thought, "If I am causing her that much grief, I might as well just go." I was just tired Michael. I never meant the things that I said and I know that you didn't either.
I miss going sailing with you and I often look up on a day, when the breeze blows & I smile, and say out loud, "it's a good day to sail."
You know what Michael? My therapist told me that, as many people as he had met in counseling, he never had met any body, who were brother and sister, as close as we were. I feel God blessed us, by putting us together in this life, to let us grow up together. I would have loved to have seen your little face, when I was born and you pulled me off the bed to get a better look. Was I your baby at that moment? Or did you talk to me, and dream of me while I was still resting & growing inside our dear sweet mother. Are you with her now? Is daddy there and Bobby? Are you there with, our precious one? What a hard thing it was on all of us to loose him.
Whenever I was in trouble or scared, it was you that I always turned to. Thank you, Michael, for being my brother. I could not have had a better brother. Even though you pulled my braids and cut them off & all of the other pranks, that you pulled on me as kids, I still laugh about them. I never really got mad about them. You could charm the skin off of a snake! There was always this trust, that no matter what, I would be safe! I always was.
I remember the conversation that we had when you drove me to Knoxville that time. When, I told you to be careful driving back & that you should stay. You told me if you died that you would die happy, because you had done a lot of things that no one else would ever get to do. If you could have died happy, that night, I don't dare say it.
I know how miserable your life had become & I always loved you and kept trying to save you, but I just didn't know how! Was I suppose to? If I was and didn't please forgive me.
By the way, I found your water color painting when I was cleaning out your room, that you signed "Ice Pick Willie," and I just cracked up laughing, and thought, about you doing that knowing that I'd find it and laugh. That I would know what it meant.
You told me in your Will, to not cry for you, and trust in God, that he has taken you to a happier place and that you were going on an adventure. That, you loved me, more than space itself. How blessed I was to have you in my life. How sad & broken hearted I am that you left me behind. You told me that you didn't know what you'd do if anything ever happened to me. I am glad that it wasn't me, but not because I am here, but that I am here to live with the pain & emptiness, that not having you in my life has left me. I would not want you to feel this. I don't think you could have dealt with it, because I barely can.
People say, "it will get better as time goes by." They are all just fooling themselves, but not me. I know that for the rest of my life, that until I see you again, that my heart will always feel half here, because you took the other half with you, when God took you away. You told me that He was going to. But you never told me how you knew. That was selfish.
Michael, I am going to finish your stories & I have saved all of your letters that you wrote to me, and though they make me sad & happy at the same time, I will read them from time to time. I kept your Hawaiian shirts, your Roy Orbison jacket, & your animal print jacket. I kept your little lantern & I made a little basket with your picture in it with rose petals & crystals and charms of saints. Mary stands with hands folded praying for you always. The rosary that I had in my car, the night before you died is in that basket, & I still have not found the little metal of Jesus, that went missing after you held in your fingers.
Although we are not Catholic, and our ancestors of old were, you know how I was drawn to the mystery of the rosary & St. Bernadette!
I know at times, that you felt God had abandoned you, but He didn't. You know that now. I don't know why your life down here had to be so hard, but I am also hoping that now you know.
Were you there when mother came up there? Did Jimmy & I do a good job with that? It was hard taking care of her, because we got tired. Jimmy & I both realized too late how much, you had to do & how it was way too much on you, and I am so very sorry. No matter what you told me, it just didn't sink in. For that I ask you for forgiveness too.
Please keep coming in my dreams. If I cry don't worry, it's just because I miss you so.
I love you, Michael. More than space!
You're little sister,
Sandra
This Song Was Sung At Michael's Funeral. He saw David Phelps and met him 8 months before he died. He listened to this song alot. If you have never heard it, do your self a favor and listen to it.
MY WEBSITE
http://reocities.com/MadisonAvenue/6264/index.html
No More Night
The timeless theme, earth and
heaven will pass away. It's not a
dream, God will make all things
new that day. Gone is the curse
from which I stumbled and fell.
Evil is banished to eternal hell.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
See all around, now the nations
bow down to sing. The only
sound is the praises to Christ,
our King. Slowly the names from
the book are read. I know the
King, so there's no need to dread.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
See over there, there's a mansion,
oh that's prepared just for me,
where I will live with my savior
eternally.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
All praises to the great "I AM."
We're gonna live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
by David Phelps ©
Sandy's Website
http://reocities.com/MadisonAvenue/6264/index.html
Michael,worked for the late Roy Orbison. He was a gifted Song Writer and he loved sailing. His wishes were to be cremated and dropped off the shores of his love, (Key West) by his best friend Tommy Head, "of Punta Gorda, Florida." He took Michael's ashes during "October Fest," and left a little bit of him scattered in various places in Key West. Tommy took Michael's ashes with some of his Floridian friends on the oldest, last big built sail boat in Key West, and at sunset Michael was put in the water, while the "conch shell," was blown to the four corners of the earth. The Captain wrote down the latitude & longitude of where Michael was put in the water. The boat is The Schooner Western Union..www.schoonerwesternunion.com
He had wanted a Hawaiian Lai dropped in the water, but they could not find one. One day I hope to go to that spot and do as he requested.
Part of his ashes were scattered at his request over his late father's and his nephew and grand parents graves, James Murphy, Arthur Lee and Maggie Lee Murphy and James R. Levy Jr.
Michael was married to Charlene Botelho in 1973 for five years and would have had two children, but a miscarriage & ectopical pregnancy, changed that & the marriage disolved & they remained friends. He never married again. But he loved children & was a "GREAT," uncle and to all little children. He loved children. He was a big child himself.
Michael was born in Nashville Tennessee and died in Gallatin Tennessee, from a massive heart attack due to neglegence of 3 different medical facilities.And a doctor who went againt my orders not to give him a medication, and he gave it to him anyway.
My brother, Michael was 14 months older than me and he was like my twin. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. We walked hand in hand all of his life and was so heart broken, to have lost our nephew in 2000. None of us have ever gotten over that death.
Michael was one of a kind with a great sense of humor and never met a stranger. It's a shame such a brillant mind & life was cut short so quick, but Michael was ready to go.He was tired of loosing the ones that he loved & he dreaded the upcoming loss of our mother. She died 11 months after Michael.
Michael was more than just my brother. He was my soul mate. You don't have to be married to some one to be soul mates. We were born 22 months to the day apart, and we were more like twins, and very close. His death left a vacant place in me, that no one else on earth can fill. He was full of life and fun, and we always had the best times together. When he died and I found his "Last Will And Testament," he told me not to cry, because he had gone on an adventure, to a place where he could be normal, because he didn't fit into this world. He told me that he loved me more than Space! I miss him more than space! Michael suffered with bipolar disorder, that got worse as he got older. I do blame Michael's death on several doctors who neglected to do their jobs properly. They killed my brother. But Michael was slowly killing himself too, because he could get no relief. He didn't want to be here to see my mother die, so God took him away from here by using a doctor's neglegence to do so. He's free now, and he fits in, and I hope that he is sailing on a big ship in heaven and is dressed in a white Captains suit.
1st.Cor. 13-1-13
Michael's lucky number was 13.
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE.
I love you Michael, my brother, my friend, my soul mate.
Michael,
My dear, brother, my twin, my soul mate.
How can I ever begin to tell you how much I miss you & your life?
I never thought that I'd not have you around, in my life.
It was never supposed to be this way. You were supposed to be here with me
when we got old.
I keep thinking how much happier you must be where you are, but it doesn't make me happy, that you have left, only happy in the hopes that you are happy where
you are, and there is no more Bipolar, no more of you feeling that you don't fit in.
No more of you feeling worthless, or being depressed. I can just see that infectious smile of yours and that's what I miss.
Michael, I felt you near me today & I heard you speak & it made me cry, and though I felt you, you were not alone I feel. Were there angels with you today?
There was so much love & sweetness in the room.
I just keep wishing that I could take back the harsh words, that I said to you the night before you died. If I ever thought that what I said to you, made you feel that I'd be better off with out you, you were way from the truth. I just hope that you didn't realize what the doctor had given you & you just left as God wanted you to and not by your own hand. If prayers can buy you pardon with God, I have not said enough, but if it takes the rest of my life to pray them, to be in a place with you, when my time comes I want to say mountains of prayers. I want to fly through the heavens with you, holding my hand as we did when we were just children. Always together and never far apart. There is an emptiness that I can not fill. Your absence is almost so painful, that I wish we had gone together & though I love people here on this earth, I think I could walk away just to be with you and momma & daddy. I know that my time will come soon one day, & I just am having a very hard time down here, missing you.
I listened to the words to, "Wind Beneath My Wings." today, and I thought about you & daddy. The relationship that you had that always seemed to over power me. But when I listened to the words to that song, all I could hear was you telling me to listen, and that is how you really felt. That you knew I was just "little me." But to you I was your hero. You were mine.
Michael, I will never forget ALL of our talks, and the fun that we had going places together, you singing out of key, and me just grinning from ear to ear. You were just bigger than life.
I miss hearing you say; " I just love you." Or the compliments that you always made about what I was wearing. Not many brothers would even bother. I'd give so many days just to feel those big ole arms wrapped around me, with one of your big hugs. I miss that most of all, or me putting my head on your shoulder when you would be so depressed & want to just leave us. I hurt inside for you & I didn't know how to help you and at times I feel, like I didn't try hard enough. Or I should not have ever called the clinic and asked, that they not give you any more narcotics & then they gave you that stuff that killed you. I still blame myself for ever calling them. Because it put your life and destiny in my hands, and that's why I just can't live! Because I feel that maybe you thought, "If I am causing her that much grief, I might as well just go." I was just tired Michael. I never meant the things that I said and I know that you didn't either.
I miss going sailing with you and I often look up on a day, when the breeze blows & I smile, and say out loud, "it's a good day to sail."
You know what Michael? My therapist told me that, as many people as he had met in counseling, he never had met any body, who were brother and sister, as close as we were. I feel God blessed us, by putting us together in this life, to let us grow up together. I would have loved to have seen your little face, when I was born and you pulled me off the bed to get a better look. Was I your baby at that moment? Or did you talk to me, and dream of me while I was still resting & growing inside our dear sweet mother. Are you with her now? Is daddy there and Bobby? Are you there with, our precious one? What a hard thing it was on all of us to loose him.
Whenever I was in trouble or scared, it was you that I always turned to. Thank you, Michael, for being my brother. I could not have had a better brother. Even though you pulled my braids and cut them off & all of the other pranks, that you pulled on me as kids, I still laugh about them. I never really got mad about them. You could charm the skin off of a snake! There was always this trust, that no matter what, I would be safe! I always was.
I remember the conversation that we had when you drove me to Knoxville that time. When, I told you to be careful driving back & that you should stay. You told me if you died that you would die happy, because you had done a lot of things that no one else would ever get to do. If you could have died happy, that night, I don't dare say it.
I know how miserable your life had become & I always loved you and kept trying to save you, but I just didn't know how! Was I suppose to? If I was and didn't please forgive me.
By the way, I found your water color painting when I was cleaning out your room, that you signed "Ice Pick Willie," and I just cracked up laughing, and thought, about you doing that knowing that I'd find it and laugh. That I would know what it meant.
You told me in your Will, to not cry for you, and trust in God, that he has taken you to a happier place and that you were going on an adventure. That, you loved me, more than space itself. How blessed I was to have you in my life. How sad & broken hearted I am that you left me behind. You told me that you didn't know what you'd do if anything ever happened to me. I am glad that it wasn't me, but not because I am here, but that I am here to live with the pain & emptiness, that not having you in my life has left me. I would not want you to feel this. I don't think you could have dealt with it, because I barely can.
People say, "it will get better as time goes by." They are all just fooling themselves, but not me. I know that for the rest of my life, that until I see you again, that my heart will always feel half here, because you took the other half with you, when God took you away. You told me that He was going to. But you never told me how you knew. That was selfish.
Michael, I am going to finish your stories & I have saved all of your letters that you wrote to me, and though they make me sad & happy at the same time, I will read them from time to time. I kept your Hawaiian shirts, your Roy Orbison jacket, & your animal print jacket. I kept your little lantern & I made a little basket with your picture in it with rose petals & crystals and charms of saints. Mary stands with hands folded praying for you always. The rosary that I had in my car, the night before you died is in that basket, & I still have not found the little metal of Jesus, that went missing after you held in your fingers.
Although we are not Catholic, and our ancestors of old were, you know how I was drawn to the mystery of the rosary & St. Bernadette!
I know at times, that you felt God had abandoned you, but He didn't. You know that now. I don't know why your life down here had to be so hard, but I am also hoping that now you know.
Were you there when mother came up there? Did Jimmy & I do a good job with that? It was hard taking care of her, because we got tired. Jimmy & I both realized too late how much, you had to do & how it was way too much on you, and I am so very sorry. No matter what you told me, it just didn't sink in. For that I ask you for forgiveness too.
Please keep coming in my dreams. If I cry don't worry, it's just because I miss you so.
I love you, Michael. More than space!
You're little sister,
Sandra
This Song Was Sung At Michael's Funeral. He saw David Phelps and met him 8 months before he died. He listened to this song alot. If you have never heard it, do your self a favor and listen to it.
MY WEBSITE
http://reocities.com/MadisonAvenue/6264/index.html
No More Night
The timeless theme, earth and
heaven will pass away. It's not a
dream, God will make all things
new that day. Gone is the curse
from which I stumbled and fell.
Evil is banished to eternal hell.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
See all around, now the nations
bow down to sing. The only
sound is the praises to Christ,
our King. Slowly the names from
the book are read. I know the
King, so there's no need to dread.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
See over there, there's a mansion,
oh that's prepared just for me,
where I will live with my savior
eternally.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
All praises to the great "I AM."
We're gonna live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
by David Phelps ©
Sandy's Website
http://reocities.com/MadisonAvenue/6264/index.html
He had wanted a Hawaiian Lai dropped in the water, but they could not find one. One day I hope to go to that spot and do as he requested.
Part of his ashes were scattered at his request over his late father's and his nephew and grand parents graves, James Murphy, Arthur Lee and Maggie Lee Murphy and James R. Levy Jr.
Michael was married to Charlene Botelho in 1973 for five years and would have had two children, but a miscarriage & ectopical pregnancy, changed that & the marriage disolved & they remained friends. He never married again. But he loved children & was a "GREAT," uncle and to all little children. He loved children. He was a big child himself.
Michael was born in Nashville Tennessee and died in Gallatin Tennessee, from a massive heart attack due to neglegence of 3 different medical facilities.And a doctor who went againt my orders not to give him a medication, and he gave it to him anyway.
My brother, Michael was 14 months older than me and he was like my twin. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. We walked hand in hand all of his life and was so heart broken, to have lost our nephew in 2000. None of us have ever gotten over that death.
Michael was one of a kind with a great sense of humor and never met a stranger. It's a shame such a brillant mind & life was cut short so quick, but Michael was ready to go.He was tired of loosing the ones that he loved & he dreaded the upcoming loss of our mother. She died 11 months after Michael.
Michael was more than just my brother. He was my soul mate. You don't have to be married to some one to be soul mates. We were born 22 months to the day apart, and we were more like twins, and very close. His death left a vacant place in me, that no one else on earth can fill. He was full of life and fun, and we always had the best times together. When he died and I found his "Last Will And Testament," he told me not to cry, because he had gone on an adventure, to a place where he could be normal, because he didn't fit into this world. He told me that he loved me more than Space! I miss him more than space! Michael suffered with bipolar disorder, that got worse as he got older. I do blame Michael's death on several doctors who neglected to do their jobs properly. They killed my brother. But Michael was slowly killing himself too, because he could get no relief. He didn't want to be here to see my mother die, so God took him away from here by using a doctor's neglegence to do so. He's free now, and he fits in, and I hope that he is sailing on a big ship in heaven and is dressed in a white Captains suit.
1st.Cor. 13-1-13
Michael's lucky number was 13.
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE.
I love you Michael, my brother, my friend, my soul mate.
Michael,
My dear, brother, my twin, my soul mate.
How can I ever begin to tell you how much I miss you & your life?
I never thought that I'd not have you around, in my life.
It was never supposed to be this way. You were supposed to be here with me
when we got old.
I keep thinking how much happier you must be where you are, but it doesn't make me happy, that you have left, only happy in the hopes that you are happy where
you are, and there is no more Bipolar, no more of you feeling that you don't fit in.
No more of you feeling worthless, or being depressed. I can just see that infectious smile of yours and that's what I miss.
Michael, I felt you near me today & I heard you speak & it made me cry, and though I felt you, you were not alone I feel. Were there angels with you today?
There was so much love & sweetness in the room.
I just keep wishing that I could take back the harsh words, that I said to you the night before you died. If I ever thought that what I said to you, made you feel that I'd be better off with out you, you were way from the truth. I just hope that you didn't realize what the doctor had given you & you just left as God wanted you to and not by your own hand. If prayers can buy you pardon with God, I have not said enough, but if it takes the rest of my life to pray them, to be in a place with you, when my time comes I want to say mountains of prayers. I want to fly through the heavens with you, holding my hand as we did when we were just children. Always together and never far apart. There is an emptiness that I can not fill. Your absence is almost so painful, that I wish we had gone together & though I love people here on this earth, I think I could walk away just to be with you and momma & daddy. I know that my time will come soon one day, & I just am having a very hard time down here, missing you.
I listened to the words to, "Wind Beneath My Wings." today, and I thought about you & daddy. The relationship that you had that always seemed to over power me. But when I listened to the words to that song, all I could hear was you telling me to listen, and that is how you really felt. That you knew I was just "little me." But to you I was your hero. You were mine.
Michael, I will never forget ALL of our talks, and the fun that we had going places together, you singing out of key, and me just grinning from ear to ear. You were just bigger than life.
I miss hearing you say; " I just love you." Or the compliments that you always made about what I was wearing. Not many brothers would even bother. I'd give so many days just to feel those big ole arms wrapped around me, with one of your big hugs. I miss that most of all, or me putting my head on your shoulder when you would be so depressed & want to just leave us. I hurt inside for you & I didn't know how to help you and at times I feel, like I didn't try hard enough. Or I should not have ever called the clinic and asked, that they not give you any more narcotics & then they gave you that stuff that killed you. I still blame myself for ever calling them. Because it put your life and destiny in my hands, and that's why I just can't live! Because I feel that maybe you thought, "If I am causing her that much grief, I might as well just go." I was just tired Michael. I never meant the things that I said and I know that you didn't either.
I miss going sailing with you and I often look up on a day, when the breeze blows & I smile, and say out loud, "it's a good day to sail."
You know what Michael? My therapist told me that, as many people as he had met in counseling, he never had met any body, who were brother and sister, as close as we were. I feel God blessed us, by putting us together in this life, to let us grow up together. I would have loved to have seen your little face, when I was born and you pulled me off the bed to get a better look. Was I your baby at that moment? Or did you talk to me, and dream of me while I was still resting & growing inside our dear sweet mother. Are you with her now? Is daddy there and Bobby? Are you there with, our precious one? What a hard thing it was on all of us to loose him.
Whenever I was in trouble or scared, it was you that I always turned to. Thank you, Michael, for being my brother. I could not have had a better brother. Even though you pulled my braids and cut them off & all of the other pranks, that you pulled on me as kids, I still laugh about them. I never really got mad about them. You could charm the skin off of a snake! There was always this trust, that no matter what, I would be safe! I always was.
I remember the conversation that we had when you drove me to Knoxville that time. When, I told you to be careful driving back & that you should stay. You told me if you died that you would die happy, because you had done a lot of things that no one else would ever get to do. If you could have died happy, that night, I don't dare say it.
I know how miserable your life had become & I always loved you and kept trying to save you, but I just didn't know how! Was I suppose to? If I was and didn't please forgive me.
By the way, I found your water color painting when I was cleaning out your room, that you signed "Ice Pick Willie," and I just cracked up laughing, and thought, about you doing that knowing that I'd find it and laugh. That I would know what it meant.
You told me in your Will, to not cry for you, and trust in God, that he has taken you to a happier place and that you were going on an adventure. That, you loved me, more than space itself. How blessed I was to have you in my life. How sad & broken hearted I am that you left me behind. You told me that you didn't know what you'd do if anything ever happened to me. I am glad that it wasn't me, but not because I am here, but that I am here to live with the pain & emptiness, that not having you in my life has left me. I would not want you to feel this. I don't think you could have dealt with it, because I barely can.
People say, "it will get better as time goes by." They are all just fooling themselves, but not me. I know that for the rest of my life, that until I see you again, that my heart will always feel half here, because you took the other half with you, when God took you away. You told me that He was going to. But you never told me how you knew. That was selfish.
Michael, I am going to finish your stories & I have saved all of your letters that you wrote to me, and though they make me sad & happy at the same time, I will read them from time to time. I kept your Hawaiian shirts, your Roy Orbison jacket, & your animal print jacket. I kept your little lantern & I made a little basket with your picture in it with rose petals & crystals and charms of saints. Mary stands with hands folded praying for you always. The rosary that I had in my car, the night before you died is in that basket, & I still have not found the little metal of Jesus, that went missing after you held in your fingers.
Although we are not Catholic, and our ancestors of old were, you know how I was drawn to the mystery of the rosary & St. Bernadette!
I know at times, that you felt God had abandoned you, but He didn't. You know that now. I don't know why your life down here had to be so hard, but I am also hoping that now you know.
Were you there when mother came up there? Did Jimmy & I do a good job with that? It was hard taking care of her, because we got tired. Jimmy & I both realized too late how much, you had to do & how it was way too much on you, and I am so very sorry. No matter what you told me, it just didn't sink in. For that I ask you for forgiveness too.
Please keep coming in my dreams. If I cry don't worry, it's just because I miss you so.
I love you, Michael. More than space!
You're little sister,
Sandra
This Song Was Sung At Michael's Funeral. He saw David Phelps and met him 8 months before he died. He listened to this song alot. If you have never heard it, do your self a favor and listen to it.
MY WEBSITE
http://reocities.com/MadisonAvenue/6264/index.html
No More Night
The timeless theme, earth and
heaven will pass away. It's not a
dream, God will make all things
new that day. Gone is the curse
from which I stumbled and fell.
Evil is banished to eternal hell.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
See all around, now the nations
bow down to sing. The only
sound is the praises to Christ,
our King. Slowly the names from
the book are read. I know the
King, so there's no need to dread.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
See over there, there's a mansion,
oh that's prepared just for me,
where I will live with my savior
eternally.
No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great "I
AM." We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
All praises to the great "I AM."
We're gonna live in the light of
the risen Lamb.
by David Phelps ©
Sandy's Website
http://reocities.com/MadisonAvenue/6264/index.html
