**Please, please be kind and courteous at all times.**

My edit guidelines:
-You do NOT need to send your research sources for an edit immediately. If I cannot find vital records, a book entry etc. for an edit on my own from my research sources..I may occasionally ask contributors to send their sources for any and all edits. An entry from an Ancestry Public Family Tree is NOT vital record proof without research sources. Please send any vital record information or book reference on the edit tab under corrections. That way I can put it on the memorial page as proof of the changes. Thank you for your patience with this new policy.

-I do not link to "burial unknown" but will put an explanation of the relationship on the memorial page with their memorial ID.

-I will add your contributor's number to any edits that you send me. So that others will know the source of added information and can contact you with any further questions or research info.

Just because I sometimes need to vent:

11 July 2023...These are by far the rudest messages I have ever received from a contributor!! I guess they didn't read my first profile statement to 'Please, please be kind and courteous at all times'.

I am sorry for the lengthy messages but I just had to put them in their entirety with starred comments by me.

1st message from a contributor:
"Awesome to see a memorial that had only a first name initial, middle name initial, last name , birth year and death year, not even a headstone photo - being given careful research. Glad I could offer my 'meager' edits while doing a major job of updating and linking family members."
**Their first sarcastic comment plus they are feeling really good about their efforts and disparaging the efforts of others!**

"I am pretty sure I came across a bunch of memorials you created in New Hampshire. You are someone that finds a cemetery list and adds memorials without going into the cemetery to find headstones."
**I inputted the NH cemetery burials 10 years ago from cemetery surveys found on the NH Historical Society website. I don't live anywhere near NH so I can't go into the cemetery to find headstones. I guess they still have an issue with this 10 years later.**

"I am sorry I did not notice it was you before I spent so much time sending edits. I try to work with volunteers on the ground."
**After their insults, they had the nerve to send me several gravestone edits in a CT cemetery.**

"Good luck on your research from your computer."
**Apparently they think that this is all I do and again they are insulting others who contribute to Find a Grave in whatever way they can.**

2nd message from the same contributor...and I hope the last time I hear from them:
"Folks in NH and everywhere are best helped by local people that go into cemeteries and find headstones, talk to town historians and get information, talk to the sexton."
**What about contributors who cannot physically go into a cemetery because of locality or otherwise? Plus this is apparently an issue for them not only in NH but EVERYWHERE according to their message!**

"Blah, blah, blah about finding lists and adding memorials that way. Of the .... family members you added you had basically no information, had names wrong, missing dates, family members not linked. Why? You were not standing in the cemetery in the family plot seeing the headstones, the generations interred there. How is that helping people know exactly where their ancestors are buried? No, that is adding memorials to up your numbers."
**Where do I start? Yes I did write back to them after the first message...won't do that again!! Here's my response to their 1st message: 'Aah..yes the NH cemeteries that I inputted. I don't live near NH but wanted to input those memorial pages so descendants would know exactly where their ancestors are buried.'
The NH cemeteries that I inputted from the Historical Society's survey sometimes had only had the person's initials and not their first name, no death years, no family members listed etc. I inputted what was written in the surveys.
As for their remark that I am adding memorials to up my numbers...you don't know me to make such a statement and how wrong you are.**

"I went into at least one of those NH cemeteries and saw the travesty of the memorials added."
**Their final insult!! Travesty? Are multitudes of local residents going to take a cemetery survey, go into a cemetery and find headstones, talk to town historians and get information, talk to the sexton and input memorial pages? Are you expecting this method to work worldwide?**

My final comments:
We contribute to Find A Grave by inputting cemetery surveys, taking gravestone photographs, making edits, researching etc in whatever way we can or are able. To not respect the efforts of everyone is the ultimate travesty!

27 Sept 2022...Here is a "problem message" from a contributor written on a photo request from 2015:
"I searched the entire cemetery and could not find the grave. I have photographed and posted all the readable stones in the cemetery."

Do NOT believe this message!! It's ok to post that you could not find a photo request but don't say you have photographed all the readable gravestones in a cemetery.

Yesterday I posted 10 random and very readable gravestone photographs from a cemetery with the above message.

Please keep those photo requests coming!! Even if one gravestone photographer cannot find a photo request...another photographer may find it or take some random gravestone photographs too!!

6 November 2019..I received a note from a contributor that stated "I read your extensive rules on your page so I cannot comply with your strict rules. I found an Ancestry.com family tree that named his parents which you give no credence to so we will have to leave this little guy all alone because of your purist rules". I'm sure that this contributor would not want a memorial page for their ancestor to be filled with erroneous or wrong information and would only want verified and researched facts.

10 June 2018...I was asked by a contributor the following "May I ask you please to remove any reference to who-told-who what – these are memorials honoring the departed rather than genealogy references". Yet Find A Grave has asked us to do edits (often in the original cemetery entry much of this information is not included) adding/changing first/middle/maiden/last names, birth dates/locations, bio, burial information, marker transcription, internment notes, links to parents/spouses and death dates/locations. I will do these edits gladly but it sounds like we are adding genealogy references to me.

20 Dec 2017..Some contributors are really annoyed with my new policy...swearing that they are excellent researchers and their edits are absolutely, positively correct and fully researched....but we all make mistakes..me included. Unfortunately I have found incorrect dates, links to parents, birth and death dates/locations from some "absolutely, positively correct and fully researched" edits. So I will continue to occasionally request your research sources (and yes other contributors also request this) if I cannot find the research from my usual sources. Thanks again with your understanding as the goal is to have correct facts on memorial pages and not perpetuate incorrect information.

Good luck with your genealogy!!

**Please, please be kind and courteous at all times.**

My edit guidelines:
-You do NOT need to send your research sources for an edit immediately. If I cannot find vital records, a book entry etc. for an edit on my own from my research sources..I may occasionally ask contributors to send their sources for any and all edits. An entry from an Ancestry Public Family Tree is NOT vital record proof without research sources. Please send any vital record information or book reference on the edit tab under corrections. That way I can put it on the memorial page as proof of the changes. Thank you for your patience with this new policy.

-I do not link to "burial unknown" but will put an explanation of the relationship on the memorial page with their memorial ID.

-I will add your contributor's number to any edits that you send me. So that others will know the source of added information and can contact you with any further questions or research info.

Just because I sometimes need to vent:

11 July 2023...These are by far the rudest messages I have ever received from a contributor!! I guess they didn't read my first profile statement to 'Please, please be kind and courteous at all times'.

I am sorry for the lengthy messages but I just had to put them in their entirety with starred comments by me.

1st message from a contributor:
"Awesome to see a memorial that had only a first name initial, middle name initial, last name , birth year and death year, not even a headstone photo - being given careful research. Glad I could offer my 'meager' edits while doing a major job of updating and linking family members."
**Their first sarcastic comment plus they are feeling really good about their efforts and disparaging the efforts of others!**

"I am pretty sure I came across a bunch of memorials you created in New Hampshire. You are someone that finds a cemetery list and adds memorials without going into the cemetery to find headstones."
**I inputted the NH cemetery burials 10 years ago from cemetery surveys found on the NH Historical Society website. I don't live anywhere near NH so I can't go into the cemetery to find headstones. I guess they still have an issue with this 10 years later.**

"I am sorry I did not notice it was you before I spent so much time sending edits. I try to work with volunteers on the ground."
**After their insults, they had the nerve to send me several gravestone edits in a CT cemetery.**

"Good luck on your research from your computer."
**Apparently they think that this is all I do and again they are insulting others who contribute to Find a Grave in whatever way they can.**

2nd message from the same contributor...and I hope the last time I hear from them:
"Folks in NH and everywhere are best helped by local people that go into cemeteries and find headstones, talk to town historians and get information, talk to the sexton."
**What about contributors who cannot physically go into a cemetery because of locality or otherwise? Plus this is apparently an issue for them not only in NH but EVERYWHERE according to their message!**

"Blah, blah, blah about finding lists and adding memorials that way. Of the .... family members you added you had basically no information, had names wrong, missing dates, family members not linked. Why? You were not standing in the cemetery in the family plot seeing the headstones, the generations interred there. How is that helping people know exactly where their ancestors are buried? No, that is adding memorials to up your numbers."
**Where do I start? Yes I did write back to them after the first message...won't do that again!! Here's my response to their 1st message: 'Aah..yes the NH cemeteries that I inputted. I don't live near NH but wanted to input those memorial pages so descendants would know exactly where their ancestors are buried.'
The NH cemeteries that I inputted from the Historical Society's survey sometimes had only had the person's initials and not their first name, no death years, no family members listed etc. I inputted what was written in the surveys.
As for their remark that I am adding memorials to up my numbers...you don't know me to make such a statement and how wrong you are.**

"I went into at least one of those NH cemeteries and saw the travesty of the memorials added."
**Their final insult!! Travesty? Are multitudes of local residents going to take a cemetery survey, go into a cemetery and find headstones, talk to town historians and get information, talk to the sexton and input memorial pages? Are you expecting this method to work worldwide?**

My final comments:
We contribute to Find A Grave by inputting cemetery surveys, taking gravestone photographs, making edits, researching etc in whatever way we can or are able. To not respect the efforts of everyone is the ultimate travesty!

27 Sept 2022...Here is a "problem message" from a contributor written on a photo request from 2015:
"I searched the entire cemetery and could not find the grave. I have photographed and posted all the readable stones in the cemetery."

Do NOT believe this message!! It's ok to post that you could not find a photo request but don't say you have photographed all the readable gravestones in a cemetery.

Yesterday I posted 10 random and very readable gravestone photographs from a cemetery with the above message.

Please keep those photo requests coming!! Even if one gravestone photographer cannot find a photo request...another photographer may find it or take some random gravestone photographs too!!

6 November 2019..I received a note from a contributor that stated "I read your extensive rules on your page so I cannot comply with your strict rules. I found an Ancestry.com family tree that named his parents which you give no credence to so we will have to leave this little guy all alone because of your purist rules". I'm sure that this contributor would not want a memorial page for their ancestor to be filled with erroneous or wrong information and would only want verified and researched facts.

10 June 2018...I was asked by a contributor the following "May I ask you please to remove any reference to who-told-who what – these are memorials honoring the departed rather than genealogy references". Yet Find A Grave has asked us to do edits (often in the original cemetery entry much of this information is not included) adding/changing first/middle/maiden/last names, birth dates/locations, bio, burial information, marker transcription, internment notes, links to parents/spouses and death dates/locations. I will do these edits gladly but it sounds like we are adding genealogy references to me.

20 Dec 2017..Some contributors are really annoyed with my new policy...swearing that they are excellent researchers and their edits are absolutely, positively correct and fully researched....but we all make mistakes..me included. Unfortunately I have found incorrect dates, links to parents, birth and death dates/locations from some "absolutely, positively correct and fully researched" edits. So I will continue to occasionally request your research sources (and yes other contributors also request this) if I cannot find the research from my usual sources. Thanks again with your understanding as the goal is to have correct facts on memorial pages and not perpetuate incorrect information.

Good luck with your genealogy!!