Krista was 6 weeks old when she left this earth & fly with the angels. Not a day goes by that mommy doesn't think of you. I miss you every single second of every single day. one day mommy will get to rock you in her arms again. Your in no more pain baby girl. You have a beautiful sister now. shyan Faith. She has seen pictures of you & prays that you are happy in heaven. She looks at the clouds & points......... You are in her heart. My pillow is wet with tears knowing that your gone.........My heart hurts....But i know that your tiny lil body could stand no more. One day my lil angel we shall meet again.
Love you Bunches!!
Mommy
It has been hard for me to talk about what happened to Krista. Very Hard!! Krista weighed 1lb 9 oz's when she was born. I was 26 weeks along. 720 grams is what the doctors said. Pounds didn't count in the NICU. She was coming & nothing would stop her. It was 7:10pm when she arrived. I did not get to see Krista for 4 days. I awoke & i had a high fever. They had me on several antibiotics. The doctors said i had gotten an infection from the emergency C-section they had to do to save my baby. I am in the medical field & NOTHING could have prepared me for what was to come. I had HUGE blinders on. HUGE!!! I saw horrible things happeneing to other babies & i thought how horrible that would be to lose a child. How could a mommy & daddy & other family members handle such a horrible thing. To lose a child............ At 10:00 pm on June 25th the nurse was weighing Krista & checking her vitals....I now remember the look on her face as being sad. Kathy the nurse asked me if i wanted to hold Krista, she was asleep & i didn't want to wake her, i wanted her to grow. I wish now that i would have held my baby. I went home that night very tired. The hospital was 60 miles from home & i went there twice a day, once in the morning & then again in the evening. The call came at 5am. Get here quick, somethings wrong the voice on the other end of the phone said. I jumped in my car & that was the longest 60 miles i ever drove in my life. They would not tell me what was wrong or if i had lost my angel. When i arrived at the NICU, Krista was out of her incubator & on a flat open bed/warmer. Her belly was so huge & purple. An ungodly color. I was in shock. They said that she had developed an infection in her small bowel & they needed to do surgery right away. This was at 7:00 am. They didn't do the surgery until 5:00pm. When she came out of the surgery the doctors stated that they had to remove 60% of her small bowel. They DO NOT give premature babies pain medication because the doctors TOLD me that #1, they do not know how much to give them without killing them & #2, they don't feel pain. I now know that both of the reasons were not true. I watched Krista grimmace in pain all night long. The next morning the doctor told me that that she was not doing well & they had to go in & do another surgery. I looked up at her machines. Her heartbeat was 260 Bpm, Her Pulse Ox was below 90 & her little body was all wrapped up in gauze from where they had done the previous surgery. I was devastated when He stated that they did not get all of the infected bowel out. They walked me down with her, i kissed her little cheek & told her that i loved her bunches. 15 minutes passed and that seemed like forever, waiting in that surgery waiting area was hell...........I stepped outside to scream out my fear & pain. I looked up at the sky which was PITCH BLACK. At that time i saw the biggest rainbow i had ever seen in my life. It reached from one end of the earth to the other. It was amazing,there was no sunshine, how could there be a rainbow? At that moment in time i knew im my heart that something was terribly wrong. I ran inside. As i entered the NICU waiting area, a nurse ran from the elevator saying that the medication that they were giving Krista wasn't working...... I knew what she meant; Epi, Lidocaine.. I knew...I fell in the elevator & woke up outside the surgery doors. They made me wait for what i think was about 30 minutes before they let me in. She was gone & had been for what i guessed was about an hour. They never had a chance to do the sugery. Her weak little body couldn't handle it. They let me hold her. I held her until they took her from my arms. I didn't want to let her go. That was the darkest moment in my life.
At her funeral they let me spend some time with her before friends & family came. I changed her clothes three times & i was in such shock i couldn't understand why she was so cold. I held her gently for fear that i might hurt her little brusied body.
I will never understand why, however i do know that she WAS in alot of pain. It took me a long time to not be totally selfish.I now know that her pain was something that was unbearable for her. I wake up everyday & just wonder how i will make it through. The lord took her soul but i still have her heart & she still has mine.
Losing a child does crazy things to a person that only they know.
Thank you all for leaving your notes & gifts. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that others understand & care.
May all of your friends , relatives & children be rocked in the arms of angels.
2013 - Krista's Kloset -In Memory of my Angel Krista
http://kristaskloset.simpl.com/
Thank you soooooooooooooooo much Ella Searcy for sponsoring my daughter. I cannot tell you how much it means to me.
Love you Bunches!!
Mommy
It has been hard for me to talk about what happened to Krista. Very Hard!! Krista weighed 1lb 9 oz's when she was born. I was 26 weeks along. 720 grams is what the doctors said. Pounds didn't count in the NICU. She was coming & nothing would stop her. It was 7:10pm when she arrived. I did not get to see Krista for 4 days. I awoke & i had a high fever. They had me on several antibiotics. The doctors said i had gotten an infection from the emergency C-section they had to do to save my baby. I am in the medical field & NOTHING could have prepared me for what was to come. I had HUGE blinders on. HUGE!!! I saw horrible things happeneing to other babies & i thought how horrible that would be to lose a child. How could a mommy & daddy & other family members handle such a horrible thing. To lose a child............ At 10:00 pm on June 25th the nurse was weighing Krista & checking her vitals....I now remember the look on her face as being sad. Kathy the nurse asked me if i wanted to hold Krista, she was asleep & i didn't want to wake her, i wanted her to grow. I wish now that i would have held my baby. I went home that night very tired. The hospital was 60 miles from home & i went there twice a day, once in the morning & then again in the evening. The call came at 5am. Get here quick, somethings wrong the voice on the other end of the phone said. I jumped in my car & that was the longest 60 miles i ever drove in my life. They would not tell me what was wrong or if i had lost my angel. When i arrived at the NICU, Krista was out of her incubator & on a flat open bed/warmer. Her belly was so huge & purple. An ungodly color. I was in shock. They said that she had developed an infection in her small bowel & they needed to do surgery right away. This was at 7:00 am. They didn't do the surgery until 5:00pm. When she came out of the surgery the doctors stated that they had to remove 60% of her small bowel. They DO NOT give premature babies pain medication because the doctors TOLD me that #1, they do not know how much to give them without killing them & #2, they don't feel pain. I now know that both of the reasons were not true. I watched Krista grimmace in pain all night long. The next morning the doctor told me that that she was not doing well & they had to go in & do another surgery. I looked up at her machines. Her heartbeat was 260 Bpm, Her Pulse Ox was below 90 & her little body was all wrapped up in gauze from where they had done the previous surgery. I was devastated when He stated that they did not get all of the infected bowel out. They walked me down with her, i kissed her little cheek & told her that i loved her bunches. 15 minutes passed and that seemed like forever, waiting in that surgery waiting area was hell...........I stepped outside to scream out my fear & pain. I looked up at the sky which was PITCH BLACK. At that time i saw the biggest rainbow i had ever seen in my life. It reached from one end of the earth to the other. It was amazing,there was no sunshine, how could there be a rainbow? At that moment in time i knew im my heart that something was terribly wrong. I ran inside. As i entered the NICU waiting area, a nurse ran from the elevator saying that the medication that they were giving Krista wasn't working...... I knew what she meant; Epi, Lidocaine.. I knew...I fell in the elevator & woke up outside the surgery doors. They made me wait for what i think was about 30 minutes before they let me in. She was gone & had been for what i guessed was about an hour. They never had a chance to do the sugery. Her weak little body couldn't handle it. They let me hold her. I held her until they took her from my arms. I didn't want to let her go. That was the darkest moment in my life.
At her funeral they let me spend some time with her before friends & family came. I changed her clothes three times & i was in such shock i couldn't understand why she was so cold. I held her gently for fear that i might hurt her little brusied body.
I will never understand why, however i do know that she WAS in alot of pain. It took me a long time to not be totally selfish.I now know that her pain was something that was unbearable for her. I wake up everyday & just wonder how i will make it through. The lord took her soul but i still have her heart & she still has mine.
Losing a child does crazy things to a person that only they know.
Thank you all for leaving your notes & gifts. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that others understand & care.
May all of your friends , relatives & children be rocked in the arms of angels.
2013 - Krista's Kloset -In Memory of my Angel Krista
http://kristaskloset.simpl.com/
Thank you soooooooooooooooo much Ella Searcy for sponsoring my daughter. I cannot tell you how much it means to me.
Krista was 6 weeks old when she left this earth & fly with the angels. Not a day goes by that mommy doesn't think of you. I miss you every single second of every single day. one day mommy will get to rock you in her arms again. Your in no more pain baby girl. You have a beautiful sister now. shyan Faith. She has seen pictures of you & prays that you are happy in heaven. She looks at the clouds & points......... You are in her heart. My pillow is wet with tears knowing that your gone.........My heart hurts....But i know that your tiny lil body could stand no more. One day my lil angel we shall meet again.
Love you Bunches!!
Mommy
It has been hard for me to talk about what happened to Krista. Very Hard!! Krista weighed 1lb 9 oz's when she was born. I was 26 weeks along. 720 grams is what the doctors said. Pounds didn't count in the NICU. She was coming & nothing would stop her. It was 7:10pm when she arrived. I did not get to see Krista for 4 days. I awoke & i had a high fever. They had me on several antibiotics. The doctors said i had gotten an infection from the emergency C-section they had to do to save my baby. I am in the medical field & NOTHING could have prepared me for what was to come. I had HUGE blinders on. HUGE!!! I saw horrible things happeneing to other babies & i thought how horrible that would be to lose a child. How could a mommy & daddy & other family members handle such a horrible thing. To lose a child............ At 10:00 pm on June 25th the nurse was weighing Krista & checking her vitals....I now remember the look on her face as being sad. Kathy the nurse asked me if i wanted to hold Krista, she was asleep & i didn't want to wake her, i wanted her to grow. I wish now that i would have held my baby. I went home that night very tired. The hospital was 60 miles from home & i went there twice a day, once in the morning & then again in the evening. The call came at 5am. Get here quick, somethings wrong the voice on the other end of the phone said. I jumped in my car & that was the longest 60 miles i ever drove in my life. They would not tell me what was wrong or if i had lost my angel. When i arrived at the NICU, Krista was out of her incubator & on a flat open bed/warmer. Her belly was so huge & purple. An ungodly color. I was in shock. They said that she had developed an infection in her small bowel & they needed to do surgery right away. This was at 7:00 am. They didn't do the surgery until 5:00pm. When she came out of the surgery the doctors stated that they had to remove 60% of her small bowel. They DO NOT give premature babies pain medication because the doctors TOLD me that #1, they do not know how much to give them without killing them & #2, they don't feel pain. I now know that both of the reasons were not true. I watched Krista grimmace in pain all night long. The next morning the doctor told me that that she was not doing well & they had to go in & do another surgery. I looked up at her machines. Her heartbeat was 260 Bpm, Her Pulse Ox was below 90 & her little body was all wrapped up in gauze from where they had done the previous surgery. I was devastated when He stated that they did not get all of the infected bowel out. They walked me down with her, i kissed her little cheek & told her that i loved her bunches. 15 minutes passed and that seemed like forever, waiting in that surgery waiting area was hell...........I stepped outside to scream out my fear & pain. I looked up at the sky which was PITCH BLACK. At that time i saw the biggest rainbow i had ever seen in my life. It reached from one end of the earth to the other. It was amazing,there was no sunshine, how could there be a rainbow? At that moment in time i knew im my heart that something was terribly wrong. I ran inside. As i entered the NICU waiting area, a nurse ran from the elevator saying that the medication that they were giving Krista wasn't working...... I knew what she meant; Epi, Lidocaine.. I knew...I fell in the elevator & woke up outside the surgery doors. They made me wait for what i think was about 30 minutes before they let me in. She was gone & had been for what i guessed was about an hour. They never had a chance to do the sugery. Her weak little body couldn't handle it. They let me hold her. I held her until they took her from my arms. I didn't want to let her go. That was the darkest moment in my life.
At her funeral they let me spend some time with her before friends & family came. I changed her clothes three times & i was in such shock i couldn't understand why she was so cold. I held her gently for fear that i might hurt her little brusied body.
I will never understand why, however i do know that she WAS in alot of pain. It took me a long time to not be totally selfish.I now know that her pain was something that was unbearable for her. I wake up everyday & just wonder how i will make it through. The lord took her soul but i still have her heart & she still has mine.
Losing a child does crazy things to a person that only they know.
Thank you all for leaving your notes & gifts. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that others understand & care.
May all of your friends , relatives & children be rocked in the arms of angels.
2013 - Krista's Kloset -In Memory of my Angel Krista
http://kristaskloset.simpl.com/
Thank you soooooooooooooooo much Ella Searcy for sponsoring my daughter. I cannot tell you how much it means to me.
Love you Bunches!!
Mommy
It has been hard for me to talk about what happened to Krista. Very Hard!! Krista weighed 1lb 9 oz's when she was born. I was 26 weeks along. 720 grams is what the doctors said. Pounds didn't count in the NICU. She was coming & nothing would stop her. It was 7:10pm when she arrived. I did not get to see Krista for 4 days. I awoke & i had a high fever. They had me on several antibiotics. The doctors said i had gotten an infection from the emergency C-section they had to do to save my baby. I am in the medical field & NOTHING could have prepared me for what was to come. I had HUGE blinders on. HUGE!!! I saw horrible things happeneing to other babies & i thought how horrible that would be to lose a child. How could a mommy & daddy & other family members handle such a horrible thing. To lose a child............ At 10:00 pm on June 25th the nurse was weighing Krista & checking her vitals....I now remember the look on her face as being sad. Kathy the nurse asked me if i wanted to hold Krista, she was asleep & i didn't want to wake her, i wanted her to grow. I wish now that i would have held my baby. I went home that night very tired. The hospital was 60 miles from home & i went there twice a day, once in the morning & then again in the evening. The call came at 5am. Get here quick, somethings wrong the voice on the other end of the phone said. I jumped in my car & that was the longest 60 miles i ever drove in my life. They would not tell me what was wrong or if i had lost my angel. When i arrived at the NICU, Krista was out of her incubator & on a flat open bed/warmer. Her belly was so huge & purple. An ungodly color. I was in shock. They said that she had developed an infection in her small bowel & they needed to do surgery right away. This was at 7:00 am. They didn't do the surgery until 5:00pm. When she came out of the surgery the doctors stated that they had to remove 60% of her small bowel. They DO NOT give premature babies pain medication because the doctors TOLD me that #1, they do not know how much to give them without killing them & #2, they don't feel pain. I now know that both of the reasons were not true. I watched Krista grimmace in pain all night long. The next morning the doctor told me that that she was not doing well & they had to go in & do another surgery. I looked up at her machines. Her heartbeat was 260 Bpm, Her Pulse Ox was below 90 & her little body was all wrapped up in gauze from where they had done the previous surgery. I was devastated when He stated that they did not get all of the infected bowel out. They walked me down with her, i kissed her little cheek & told her that i loved her bunches. 15 minutes passed and that seemed like forever, waiting in that surgery waiting area was hell...........I stepped outside to scream out my fear & pain. I looked up at the sky which was PITCH BLACK. At that time i saw the biggest rainbow i had ever seen in my life. It reached from one end of the earth to the other. It was amazing,there was no sunshine, how could there be a rainbow? At that moment in time i knew im my heart that something was terribly wrong. I ran inside. As i entered the NICU waiting area, a nurse ran from the elevator saying that the medication that they were giving Krista wasn't working...... I knew what she meant; Epi, Lidocaine.. I knew...I fell in the elevator & woke up outside the surgery doors. They made me wait for what i think was about 30 minutes before they let me in. She was gone & had been for what i guessed was about an hour. They never had a chance to do the sugery. Her weak little body couldn't handle it. They let me hold her. I held her until they took her from my arms. I didn't want to let her go. That was the darkest moment in my life.
At her funeral they let me spend some time with her before friends & family came. I changed her clothes three times & i was in such shock i couldn't understand why she was so cold. I held her gently for fear that i might hurt her little brusied body.
I will never understand why, however i do know that she WAS in alot of pain. It took me a long time to not be totally selfish.I now know that her pain was something that was unbearable for her. I wake up everyday & just wonder how i will make it through. The lord took her soul but i still have her heart & she still has mine.
Losing a child does crazy things to a person that only they know.
Thank you all for leaving your notes & gifts. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that others understand & care.
May all of your friends , relatives & children be rocked in the arms of angels.
2013 - Krista's Kloset -In Memory of my Angel Krista
http://kristaskloset.simpl.com/
Thank you soooooooooooooooo much Ella Searcy for sponsoring my daughter. I cannot tell you how much it means to me.
