this was written by blakes mother sharon reiss
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/sharon-reiss/my-baby-blake-and-his-story/10150122099523210
Hi my name is Sharon i found out I was pregnant and guessing that i conceived my little man on May 6 2010. I took a pregnancy test and came back postivie and i was soo happy. This is our first baby. My husband was happy as well.. We went to every OBG appt , My pregnancy was actually pretty good, Only got sick once and that was it. I felt pretty good through the whole time. On Sept 27 2010 we were driving to the specialist appt for the OBGYN and we were rear ended, ( Marc my husband was driving) and the car was totalled and thank god i was wearing my seat belt. But Marc was ok but he couldn't move. ( he has bad back problems and had surgery in the past. Now he was in a lot of pain) He went to the hospital my ambulence and I called my dad to come get me to bring me to my appt. I was soo scared after the car hit us i looked between my legs to make sure there was no bleeding. Thank god there wasn't. When we went to that appt the doc said that the fluid looked a little low so just drink more water.. I said ok... and he said that our baby boy looked like he had a small jaw. Now in the other appts. The doctors could never get a good view of his kidneys but they didn't seem to be alarmed or anything so we werent. After my appt there i went to the hospital too just to make sure I was ok. I was in shock and worried about my husband and the baby. Drs said that anything can happen in the next couple of hours. At this time I was 22 weeks preg and they said that is kinda good if I was furthur along it could be bad. Everything after that was going ok. Just planing my baby shower in the next couple of months. October came and went and Nov 8 had another appt. Went to the doc and he did the sono on me and then shut the machine off right away. He said " Did your water break?" I said not that I know of. I have nothing to compare it to. But it isn't like what you see on TV. He said well we have to send you right to the hospital and you will stay there until you give birth. I was frantic. I felt like i was screaming and i was terrified. I was thinking how did my water break.? what was going on with my baby. when i got to the hospital i was crying so bad and could barely stand due to be scared. When i first went into the hospital a bunch of doctors came in one inparticular came in and said he thinks that I could have Potters Syndrome. Well my baby Blake could have that. THat is when babies are born either without kidneys or they just dont work right. My family googled everything and this condition is very scary.. There is a 100% fatility rate. Usually babies dont last more then an hour. I didn't even wanna hear that. I was terrified. My baby cant have that. It is a death sentence he did nothing wrong. I didnt either. I did everthing the doctors asked me. i was a crazy Coca cola drinker and I stopped that all together as soon as I found out i was preg. The next day another doc did a ultra sound and said who told these people they have a Potters Baby that is crazy he has kidneys we just can't see them.. I was relieved when the other doctor said that. Ultra sound after ultra sound and the doctors were pushing more like it was a crappy Placenta. And they said that is what you would want to have. As far as something being wrong that is easily fixed when Blake is born.. Well i was in the hospital for 6 weeks until i gave birth, missed thanksgiving and things like that but it was all worth it for my little man. I would do anything for a healthy baby boy. Even the nurses and doctors said you are so nice not complaining and everything and every time I would say it is all for him and rub my belly.. I would say what ever it takes.. ALso doctors said Blake was breached also. I still didn't have any fluid to really speak off. But once again they did't seem very alarmed because i was admitted to the hospital and now it was just a baking thing the doctors said. They were going to do a C - Section on him and they would say we dont want him to come out to early. So they said they would take him out at 34 weeks. Well 34 weeks came and the night before i didn't sleep at all neither did my hubby. We were do excited and scared all in one. Now let me back track after the doctors were leaning more towards a placenta thing they said we cant rule out this Potters thing until Blake is born to check his kidneys. Well the day has came and i was to go into the OR at 3 pm. I was so nervous of the spinal and the cutting. I didn't know what to expect. Got ready went into the OR and they gave me a spinal and Marc was able to come in. I didnt even know they had started cutting yet. I felt nothing. and then it took them 3 minutes to bring my beautiful boy in the world. He cried twice and i was so happy. then he stopped and they rushed him to the NICU. He weighed 4 LBS and 1 oz. He stopped breathing my hubby told me later on. So they put him on a ventolater. After a couple of tests a kidney doc came in and said that one kidney was not working and the right was was not working well. Long story short he did have Potters.. I was devastated. My poor boy was on at least 10 different machines. I went to see him later on that day and i kissed and sucked his little toes and fingers. He was soo cute. Potters babies usually have the small chin and low set ears. Even though he had that he wore his features well. His stats were going up and down and was stable for a little while. Kidney doc said if we put a stent in and then dyalsis he could lead a normal life. I said oh where do i sign. Not realizing that , that will just help the kidney prob. When blake was born becuase of no fluid his lungs were like leather they couldn 't exapand and contract. He had severe pulomanry hypertension. Potters effects almost every organ.. when we signed the consent form they were just about to do surgery and his stats dropped so they didn't want to do it. Thank god they didn't... Why put him through this. After he was born I called my aunt and she is really big in the church and a priest from our church came and Baptized my son. We had a meetting with all of Blakes doctors to find out quality of life for him and pain.. etc. they were leary about answering and then they said he might be on a ventalor his whole life he might develop lessions on his brain and that is if his lungs hold out and kidney transplant and something with the heart. ( Now when he was inside me his heart was the strongest organ . Eveyone was so impressed with how strong his heart was in me) Well we had to make the hard choice of taking him off the machines. It wouldnt be right for us to be selfish and keep him alive for us. we went to the healing gardens in the hospital and Marc called his parents to come out ASAP . THey came out the next day and we went up to see Blake and we all held him while he was on the ventolator. Marc and I were able to change Blakes diappers and sponge bath him.. I loved being his momma even if it was for a short amount of time. Then we decided that we were ready to take him off the machines. But we said only Marc and I were going to hold him. As I held him Marc said you need to keep holding him. Because he listened to your heart beat for all these months and he needs to feel comfortable hearing you until he slips away. I have never felt any kind of pain than this before.. I was able to sing to him "You are my Sunshine" and i talked to him and said how much momma and daddy love you.. Dec 21st 2010 was when he passed away. He was actually born on Dec 15 which was his grandpees birthday. he started to gasp as they took him off the resperator and all i could think of was saying " I am soo sorry baby momma is soo sorry. i dont mean to hurt you. OMG i am soo sorry." It felt like forever and then they gave him a shot of morphine to calm him down. He was such a fighter the whole time inside me and when he came out. He lasted 2 hours off the ventalor. THe nurses were all crying and the doc came over to use and said we did the right thing... "Now I lay Me Down To Sleep" a non profit org. they took pics of us and Blake and another nice lady took clay imprints of his hands and feet.. OMG.. I hope this never happens to anyone. I rented a breast pump before Blake slipped away and I said I will still pump for a little bit and donate it to Mothers Milk Bank. to children that might need it. Blake passed away 8:00 pm on Dec 21st. He was going to be everyones Christmas present when we found out we were having the c sec Dec 15th... IT is hard every day.... I Miss you baby boy.. I love you so much Blakey.....
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/sharon-reiss/my-baby-blake-and-his-story/10150122099523210
Hi my name is Sharon i found out I was pregnant and guessing that i conceived my little man on May 6 2010. I took a pregnancy test and came back postivie and i was soo happy. This is our first baby. My husband was happy as well.. We went to every OBG appt , My pregnancy was actually pretty good, Only got sick once and that was it. I felt pretty good through the whole time. On Sept 27 2010 we were driving to the specialist appt for the OBGYN and we were rear ended, ( Marc my husband was driving) and the car was totalled and thank god i was wearing my seat belt. But Marc was ok but he couldn't move. ( he has bad back problems and had surgery in the past. Now he was in a lot of pain) He went to the hospital my ambulence and I called my dad to come get me to bring me to my appt. I was soo scared after the car hit us i looked between my legs to make sure there was no bleeding. Thank god there wasn't. When we went to that appt the doc said that the fluid looked a little low so just drink more water.. I said ok... and he said that our baby boy looked like he had a small jaw. Now in the other appts. The doctors could never get a good view of his kidneys but they didn't seem to be alarmed or anything so we werent. After my appt there i went to the hospital too just to make sure I was ok. I was in shock and worried about my husband and the baby. Drs said that anything can happen in the next couple of hours. At this time I was 22 weeks preg and they said that is kinda good if I was furthur along it could be bad. Everything after that was going ok. Just planing my baby shower in the next couple of months. October came and went and Nov 8 had another appt. Went to the doc and he did the sono on me and then shut the machine off right away. He said " Did your water break?" I said not that I know of. I have nothing to compare it to. But it isn't like what you see on TV. He said well we have to send you right to the hospital and you will stay there until you give birth. I was frantic. I felt like i was screaming and i was terrified. I was thinking how did my water break.? what was going on with my baby. when i got to the hospital i was crying so bad and could barely stand due to be scared. When i first went into the hospital a bunch of doctors came in one inparticular came in and said he thinks that I could have Potters Syndrome. Well my baby Blake could have that. THat is when babies are born either without kidneys or they just dont work right. My family googled everything and this condition is very scary.. There is a 100% fatility rate. Usually babies dont last more then an hour. I didn't even wanna hear that. I was terrified. My baby cant have that. It is a death sentence he did nothing wrong. I didnt either. I did everthing the doctors asked me. i was a crazy Coca cola drinker and I stopped that all together as soon as I found out i was preg. The next day another doc did a ultra sound and said who told these people they have a Potters Baby that is crazy he has kidneys we just can't see them.. I was relieved when the other doctor said that. Ultra sound after ultra sound and the doctors were pushing more like it was a crappy Placenta. And they said that is what you would want to have. As far as something being wrong that is easily fixed when Blake is born.. Well i was in the hospital for 6 weeks until i gave birth, missed thanksgiving and things like that but it was all worth it for my little man. I would do anything for a healthy baby boy. Even the nurses and doctors said you are so nice not complaining and everything and every time I would say it is all for him and rub my belly.. I would say what ever it takes.. ALso doctors said Blake was breached also. I still didn't have any fluid to really speak off. But once again they did't seem very alarmed because i was admitted to the hospital and now it was just a baking thing the doctors said. They were going to do a C - Section on him and they would say we dont want him to come out to early. So they said they would take him out at 34 weeks. Well 34 weeks came and the night before i didn't sleep at all neither did my hubby. We were do excited and scared all in one. Now let me back track after the doctors were leaning more towards a placenta thing they said we cant rule out this Potters thing until Blake is born to check his kidneys. Well the day has came and i was to go into the OR at 3 pm. I was so nervous of the spinal and the cutting. I didn't know what to expect. Got ready went into the OR and they gave me a spinal and Marc was able to come in. I didnt even know they had started cutting yet. I felt nothing. and then it took them 3 minutes to bring my beautiful boy in the world. He cried twice and i was so happy. then he stopped and they rushed him to the NICU. He weighed 4 LBS and 1 oz. He stopped breathing my hubby told me later on. So they put him on a ventolater. After a couple of tests a kidney doc came in and said that one kidney was not working and the right was was not working well. Long story short he did have Potters.. I was devastated. My poor boy was on at least 10 different machines. I went to see him later on that day and i kissed and sucked his little toes and fingers. He was soo cute. Potters babies usually have the small chin and low set ears. Even though he had that he wore his features well. His stats were going up and down and was stable for a little while. Kidney doc said if we put a stent in and then dyalsis he could lead a normal life. I said oh where do i sign. Not realizing that , that will just help the kidney prob. When blake was born becuase of no fluid his lungs were like leather they couldn 't exapand and contract. He had severe pulomanry hypertension. Potters effects almost every organ.. when we signed the consent form they were just about to do surgery and his stats dropped so they didn't want to do it. Thank god they didn't... Why put him through this. After he was born I called my aunt and she is really big in the church and a priest from our church came and Baptized my son. We had a meetting with all of Blakes doctors to find out quality of life for him and pain.. etc. they were leary about answering and then they said he might be on a ventalor his whole life he might develop lessions on his brain and that is if his lungs hold out and kidney transplant and something with the heart. ( Now when he was inside me his heart was the strongest organ . Eveyone was so impressed with how strong his heart was in me) Well we had to make the hard choice of taking him off the machines. It wouldnt be right for us to be selfish and keep him alive for us. we went to the healing gardens in the hospital and Marc called his parents to come out ASAP . THey came out the next day and we went up to see Blake and we all held him while he was on the ventolator. Marc and I were able to change Blakes diappers and sponge bath him.. I loved being his momma even if it was for a short amount of time. Then we decided that we were ready to take him off the machines. But we said only Marc and I were going to hold him. As I held him Marc said you need to keep holding him. Because he listened to your heart beat for all these months and he needs to feel comfortable hearing you until he slips away. I have never felt any kind of pain than this before.. I was able to sing to him "You are my Sunshine" and i talked to him and said how much momma and daddy love you.. Dec 21st 2010 was when he passed away. He was actually born on Dec 15 which was his grandpees birthday. he started to gasp as they took him off the resperator and all i could think of was saying " I am soo sorry baby momma is soo sorry. i dont mean to hurt you. OMG i am soo sorry." It felt like forever and then they gave him a shot of morphine to calm him down. He was such a fighter the whole time inside me and when he came out. He lasted 2 hours off the ventalor. THe nurses were all crying and the doc came over to use and said we did the right thing... "Now I lay Me Down To Sleep" a non profit org. they took pics of us and Blake and another nice lady took clay imprints of his hands and feet.. OMG.. I hope this never happens to anyone. I rented a breast pump before Blake slipped away and I said I will still pump for a little bit and donate it to Mothers Milk Bank. to children that might need it. Blake passed away 8:00 pm on Dec 21st. He was going to be everyones Christmas present when we found out we were having the c sec Dec 15th... IT is hard every day.... I Miss you baby boy.. I love you so much Blakey.....
this was written by blakes mother sharon reiss
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/sharon-reiss/my-baby-blake-and-his-story/10150122099523210
Hi my name is Sharon i found out I was pregnant and guessing that i conceived my little man on May 6 2010. I took a pregnancy test and came back postivie and i was soo happy. This is our first baby. My husband was happy as well.. We went to every OBG appt , My pregnancy was actually pretty good, Only got sick once and that was it. I felt pretty good through the whole time. On Sept 27 2010 we were driving to the specialist appt for the OBGYN and we were rear ended, ( Marc my husband was driving) and the car was totalled and thank god i was wearing my seat belt. But Marc was ok but he couldn't move. ( he has bad back problems and had surgery in the past. Now he was in a lot of pain) He went to the hospital my ambulence and I called my dad to come get me to bring me to my appt. I was soo scared after the car hit us i looked between my legs to make sure there was no bleeding. Thank god there wasn't. When we went to that appt the doc said that the fluid looked a little low so just drink more water.. I said ok... and he said that our baby boy looked like he had a small jaw. Now in the other appts. The doctors could never get a good view of his kidneys but they didn't seem to be alarmed or anything so we werent. After my appt there i went to the hospital too just to make sure I was ok. I was in shock and worried about my husband and the baby. Drs said that anything can happen in the next couple of hours. At this time I was 22 weeks preg and they said that is kinda good if I was furthur along it could be bad. Everything after that was going ok. Just planing my baby shower in the next couple of months. October came and went and Nov 8 had another appt. Went to the doc and he did the sono on me and then shut the machine off right away. He said " Did your water break?" I said not that I know of. I have nothing to compare it to. But it isn't like what you see on TV. He said well we have to send you right to the hospital and you will stay there until you give birth. I was frantic. I felt like i was screaming and i was terrified. I was thinking how did my water break.? what was going on with my baby. when i got to the hospital i was crying so bad and could barely stand due to be scared. When i first went into the hospital a bunch of doctors came in one inparticular came in and said he thinks that I could have Potters Syndrome. Well my baby Blake could have that. THat is when babies are born either without kidneys or they just dont work right. My family googled everything and this condition is very scary.. There is a 100% fatility rate. Usually babies dont last more then an hour. I didn't even wanna hear that. I was terrified. My baby cant have that. It is a death sentence he did nothing wrong. I didnt either. I did everthing the doctors asked me. i was a crazy Coca cola drinker and I stopped that all together as soon as I found out i was preg. The next day another doc did a ultra sound and said who told these people they have a Potters Baby that is crazy he has kidneys we just can't see them.. I was relieved when the other doctor said that. Ultra sound after ultra sound and the doctors were pushing more like it was a crappy Placenta. And they said that is what you would want to have. As far as something being wrong that is easily fixed when Blake is born.. Well i was in the hospital for 6 weeks until i gave birth, missed thanksgiving and things like that but it was all worth it for my little man. I would do anything for a healthy baby boy. Even the nurses and doctors said you are so nice not complaining and everything and every time I would say it is all for him and rub my belly.. I would say what ever it takes.. ALso doctors said Blake was breached also. I still didn't have any fluid to really speak off. But once again they did't seem very alarmed because i was admitted to the hospital and now it was just a baking thing the doctors said. They were going to do a C - Section on him and they would say we dont want him to come out to early. So they said they would take him out at 34 weeks. Well 34 weeks came and the night before i didn't sleep at all neither did my hubby. We were do excited and scared all in one. Now let me back track after the doctors were leaning more towards a placenta thing they said we cant rule out this Potters thing until Blake is born to check his kidneys. Well the day has came and i was to go into the OR at 3 pm. I was so nervous of the spinal and the cutting. I didn't know what to expect. Got ready went into the OR and they gave me a spinal and Marc was able to come in. I didnt even know they had started cutting yet. I felt nothing. and then it took them 3 minutes to bring my beautiful boy in the world. He cried twice and i was so happy. then he stopped and they rushed him to the NICU. He weighed 4 LBS and 1 oz. He stopped breathing my hubby told me later on. So they put him on a ventolater. After a couple of tests a kidney doc came in and said that one kidney was not working and the right was was not working well. Long story short he did have Potters.. I was devastated. My poor boy was on at least 10 different machines. I went to see him later on that day and i kissed and sucked his little toes and fingers. He was soo cute. Potters babies usually have the small chin and low set ears. Even though he had that he wore his features well. His stats were going up and down and was stable for a little while. Kidney doc said if we put a stent in and then dyalsis he could lead a normal life. I said oh where do i sign. Not realizing that , that will just help the kidney prob. When blake was born becuase of no fluid his lungs were like leather they couldn 't exapand and contract. He had severe pulomanry hypertension. Potters effects almost every organ.. when we signed the consent form they were just about to do surgery and his stats dropped so they didn't want to do it. Thank god they didn't... Why put him through this. After he was born I called my aunt and she is really big in the church and a priest from our church came and Baptized my son. We had a meetting with all of Blakes doctors to find out quality of life for him and pain.. etc. they were leary about answering and then they said he might be on a ventalor his whole life he might develop lessions on his brain and that is if his lungs hold out and kidney transplant and something with the heart. ( Now when he was inside me his heart was the strongest organ . Eveyone was so impressed with how strong his heart was in me) Well we had to make the hard choice of taking him off the machines. It wouldnt be right for us to be selfish and keep him alive for us. we went to the healing gardens in the hospital and Marc called his parents to come out ASAP . THey came out the next day and we went up to see Blake and we all held him while he was on the ventolator. Marc and I were able to change Blakes diappers and sponge bath him.. I loved being his momma even if it was for a short amount of time. Then we decided that we were ready to take him off the machines. But we said only Marc and I were going to hold him. As I held him Marc said you need to keep holding him. Because he listened to your heart beat for all these months and he needs to feel comfortable hearing you until he slips away. I have never felt any kind of pain than this before.. I was able to sing to him "You are my Sunshine" and i talked to him and said how much momma and daddy love you.. Dec 21st 2010 was when he passed away. He was actually born on Dec 15 which was his grandpees birthday. he started to gasp as they took him off the resperator and all i could think of was saying " I am soo sorry baby momma is soo sorry. i dont mean to hurt you. OMG i am soo sorry." It felt like forever and then they gave him a shot of morphine to calm him down. He was such a fighter the whole time inside me and when he came out. He lasted 2 hours off the ventalor. THe nurses were all crying and the doc came over to use and said we did the right thing... "Now I lay Me Down To Sleep" a non profit org. they took pics of us and Blake and another nice lady took clay imprints of his hands and feet.. OMG.. I hope this never happens to anyone. I rented a breast pump before Blake slipped away and I said I will still pump for a little bit and donate it to Mothers Milk Bank. to children that might need it. Blake passed away 8:00 pm on Dec 21st. He was going to be everyones Christmas present when we found out we were having the c sec Dec 15th... IT is hard every day.... I Miss you baby boy.. I love you so much Blakey.....
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/sharon-reiss/my-baby-blake-and-his-story/10150122099523210
Hi my name is Sharon i found out I was pregnant and guessing that i conceived my little man on May 6 2010. I took a pregnancy test and came back postivie and i was soo happy. This is our first baby. My husband was happy as well.. We went to every OBG appt , My pregnancy was actually pretty good, Only got sick once and that was it. I felt pretty good through the whole time. On Sept 27 2010 we were driving to the specialist appt for the OBGYN and we were rear ended, ( Marc my husband was driving) and the car was totalled and thank god i was wearing my seat belt. But Marc was ok but he couldn't move. ( he has bad back problems and had surgery in the past. Now he was in a lot of pain) He went to the hospital my ambulence and I called my dad to come get me to bring me to my appt. I was soo scared after the car hit us i looked between my legs to make sure there was no bleeding. Thank god there wasn't. When we went to that appt the doc said that the fluid looked a little low so just drink more water.. I said ok... and he said that our baby boy looked like he had a small jaw. Now in the other appts. The doctors could never get a good view of his kidneys but they didn't seem to be alarmed or anything so we werent. After my appt there i went to the hospital too just to make sure I was ok. I was in shock and worried about my husband and the baby. Drs said that anything can happen in the next couple of hours. At this time I was 22 weeks preg and they said that is kinda good if I was furthur along it could be bad. Everything after that was going ok. Just planing my baby shower in the next couple of months. October came and went and Nov 8 had another appt. Went to the doc and he did the sono on me and then shut the machine off right away. He said " Did your water break?" I said not that I know of. I have nothing to compare it to. But it isn't like what you see on TV. He said well we have to send you right to the hospital and you will stay there until you give birth. I was frantic. I felt like i was screaming and i was terrified. I was thinking how did my water break.? what was going on with my baby. when i got to the hospital i was crying so bad and could barely stand due to be scared. When i first went into the hospital a bunch of doctors came in one inparticular came in and said he thinks that I could have Potters Syndrome. Well my baby Blake could have that. THat is when babies are born either without kidneys or they just dont work right. My family googled everything and this condition is very scary.. There is a 100% fatility rate. Usually babies dont last more then an hour. I didn't even wanna hear that. I was terrified. My baby cant have that. It is a death sentence he did nothing wrong. I didnt either. I did everthing the doctors asked me. i was a crazy Coca cola drinker and I stopped that all together as soon as I found out i was preg. The next day another doc did a ultra sound and said who told these people they have a Potters Baby that is crazy he has kidneys we just can't see them.. I was relieved when the other doctor said that. Ultra sound after ultra sound and the doctors were pushing more like it was a crappy Placenta. And they said that is what you would want to have. As far as something being wrong that is easily fixed when Blake is born.. Well i was in the hospital for 6 weeks until i gave birth, missed thanksgiving and things like that but it was all worth it for my little man. I would do anything for a healthy baby boy. Even the nurses and doctors said you are so nice not complaining and everything and every time I would say it is all for him and rub my belly.. I would say what ever it takes.. ALso doctors said Blake was breached also. I still didn't have any fluid to really speak off. But once again they did't seem very alarmed because i was admitted to the hospital and now it was just a baking thing the doctors said. They were going to do a C - Section on him and they would say we dont want him to come out to early. So they said they would take him out at 34 weeks. Well 34 weeks came and the night before i didn't sleep at all neither did my hubby. We were do excited and scared all in one. Now let me back track after the doctors were leaning more towards a placenta thing they said we cant rule out this Potters thing until Blake is born to check his kidneys. Well the day has came and i was to go into the OR at 3 pm. I was so nervous of the spinal and the cutting. I didn't know what to expect. Got ready went into the OR and they gave me a spinal and Marc was able to come in. I didnt even know they had started cutting yet. I felt nothing. and then it took them 3 minutes to bring my beautiful boy in the world. He cried twice and i was so happy. then he stopped and they rushed him to the NICU. He weighed 4 LBS and 1 oz. He stopped breathing my hubby told me later on. So they put him on a ventolater. After a couple of tests a kidney doc came in and said that one kidney was not working and the right was was not working well. Long story short he did have Potters.. I was devastated. My poor boy was on at least 10 different machines. I went to see him later on that day and i kissed and sucked his little toes and fingers. He was soo cute. Potters babies usually have the small chin and low set ears. Even though he had that he wore his features well. His stats were going up and down and was stable for a little while. Kidney doc said if we put a stent in and then dyalsis he could lead a normal life. I said oh where do i sign. Not realizing that , that will just help the kidney prob. When blake was born becuase of no fluid his lungs were like leather they couldn 't exapand and contract. He had severe pulomanry hypertension. Potters effects almost every organ.. when we signed the consent form they were just about to do surgery and his stats dropped so they didn't want to do it. Thank god they didn't... Why put him through this. After he was born I called my aunt and she is really big in the church and a priest from our church came and Baptized my son. We had a meetting with all of Blakes doctors to find out quality of life for him and pain.. etc. they were leary about answering and then they said he might be on a ventalor his whole life he might develop lessions on his brain and that is if his lungs hold out and kidney transplant and something with the heart. ( Now when he was inside me his heart was the strongest organ . Eveyone was so impressed with how strong his heart was in me) Well we had to make the hard choice of taking him off the machines. It wouldnt be right for us to be selfish and keep him alive for us. we went to the healing gardens in the hospital and Marc called his parents to come out ASAP . THey came out the next day and we went up to see Blake and we all held him while he was on the ventolator. Marc and I were able to change Blakes diappers and sponge bath him.. I loved being his momma even if it was for a short amount of time. Then we decided that we were ready to take him off the machines. But we said only Marc and I were going to hold him. As I held him Marc said you need to keep holding him. Because he listened to your heart beat for all these months and he needs to feel comfortable hearing you until he slips away. I have never felt any kind of pain than this before.. I was able to sing to him "You are my Sunshine" and i talked to him and said how much momma and daddy love you.. Dec 21st 2010 was when he passed away. He was actually born on Dec 15 which was his grandpees birthday. he started to gasp as they took him off the resperator and all i could think of was saying " I am soo sorry baby momma is soo sorry. i dont mean to hurt you. OMG i am soo sorry." It felt like forever and then they gave him a shot of morphine to calm him down. He was such a fighter the whole time inside me and when he came out. He lasted 2 hours off the ventalor. THe nurses were all crying and the doc came over to use and said we did the right thing... "Now I lay Me Down To Sleep" a non profit org. they took pics of us and Blake and another nice lady took clay imprints of his hands and feet.. OMG.. I hope this never happens to anyone. I rented a breast pump before Blake slipped away and I said I will still pump for a little bit and donate it to Mothers Milk Bank. to children that might need it. Blake passed away 8:00 pm on Dec 21st. He was going to be everyones Christmas present when we found out we were having the c sec Dec 15th... IT is hard every day.... I Miss you baby boy.. I love you so much Blakey.....
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